Daily Notes on Fasting

   Sorry for the delay! I meant to post this shortly after the last post, but life always gets in the way. Now this seems like ages ago, but here it is:

First of all, I should clarify that I don’t recommend or endorse fasting as a way to cure or solve any problems, and I think it can be incredibly dangerous when done incorrectly or for the wrong reasons. I did a lot of careful planning and research on what to expect before embarking on this, but in an ideal world, I would have done it under medical supervision at a health spa of some kind. Alas, a luxury I did not have. Still, I found it was a safe and worthwhile option for me personally, and this is just an account of my own personal experience.

So here are the basics. First, you should ease in to a fast. Luckily, because of the candida cleanse, I was mostly on a real food / live food diet, so that helped. For the day or two leading in, you should eat lighter foods like fruit or veggie smoothies (I wasn’t eating fruit on the candida cleanse, so I had to go the veggie way).

Then what do you do for the fast?

Well, I did a hybrid that felt right for me and my situation. It was a cross between what is commonly referred to as the Master Cleanse and a water fast. Every morning, the first thing I consumed (post-toilet flushing) was a glass of water with half a squeezed lemon, a tiny bit of Grade B maple syrup, and some cayenne pepper. Drink that all down! I found it surprising delicious. Then, for the rest of the day I either drank plain water or water with lemon squeezed into it. I definitely got tired of the taste of lemon water, let me tell you. I continued to take my antifungal supplement (from the candida cleanse) and a probiotic, but I stopped all my other supplements like my daily multivitamin, my B-complex vitamin and my fish oil supplement. You’re supposed to take those with food and since I wasn’t eating anything, it didn’t seem safe. Post-fast, I think I will probably only take a multivitamin and some fish oil a few times a week to give me an extra boost. I might even add in some Biotin, but I haven’t decided yet.

So that’s it. For 8 whole days. I’ll talk later about easing out of the fast, but here is my daily account of what it was like to fast.


DAY ONE: I am so mentally ready for this. I was mentally ready yesterday, but I 1) didn’t want to jump the gun – I had set a Sunday start date and starting two days early seemed a bit much; and 2) there were some things in my refrigerator I wanted to eat, mostly a smoothie I made in preparation for my ease-in and some eggs whipped together with my delicious (and spicy) homemade mustard. But today I was SO. TOTALLY. READY. The tough part comes in when you take into account that I have two events tonight, both of which involve food: a wonderful reunion with my Brussels friends at Guapos, the greatest of Mexican restaurants, and my friend’s birthday party on her roof where there is bound to be booze and sweets. Heck, I’m bringing her a giant bag of M&Ms. Alas, no M&Ms for me. Just water and maybe a bit of lemon all day today. But that's okay!

DAY TWO: So, because I’ve been on a cleanse for three weeks, it doesn’t really bother me to be around food I can’t eat. However, there were plenty of foods at Guapos that I could have eaten, which was a bummer. I’m just resolved to reconvene the group next month for more Mexican. The birthday party was great because it was light on food and I don’t mind giving up alcohol. I still refereed a flip cup tournament (I thought we were too old for that…) and I even served the cake. A delicious chocolate cake with chocolate butter cream frosting. Mmmm… And I don’t even like cake! Still, not that big of a deal. This afternoon, I met a bunch of the girls for brunch and still, no big deal. If anything, what I’ve learned is that waiters are really concerned when you don’t order anything. Your friends kind of forget about it because you’re all laughing and telling stories and not really paying attention to what you are (or aren’t) eating. But wait staff think you’re some kind of monster. When you ask them for lemon for your water, they will definitely bring you a whole plate. So day 2? Still a breeze.

DAY THREE: First work day on the fast! I started off strong, if a bit fatigued. The gross part of the fast is, ahem, flushing your digestive system. Let’s just say that I haven’t eaten food in three days, but there is still poop for some reason. Like I said: GROSS. But just think – if I wasn’t flushing it out and down the toilet, it would still just be sitting inside of me, hanging out, setting up a permanent homestead. Better to have it out, I’d say. Toward the end of the day, things got a little worse, but I expected this. Most people claim the third day is the hump you have to get over as your body readjusts to what it can consume and where that happens in your body. So let’s just say I fantasized a lot about food and clicked “like” on a lot of recipes I found on Pinterest. All in all, it could have been worse. The key is distraction. I took a shampoo-free shower and got into bed to watch a movie and forgot all about it.

DAY FOUR: The food longing from day 3 kind of carried over into the morning. I felt extra tired, but that might also be because I was up too late watching the movie. Once I put on some dance tunes and did my make-up, I felt like a more normal me. Due to needing to get to work early, I skipped flushing my system. I feel like missing one day of this isn’t the worst thing in the world. Still just drinking water with a few squeezes of lemon juice, so go me! Halfway through! Thinking of it as being “halfway” is definitely helping my morale. I mean, I’ve made it this far, why stop? By afternoon, the annoyances of work distracted me enough that I didn’t even have time to think about food. Although I am peeing a lot. A LOT. More than I’ve ever peed in my whole life. Do most people pee this much? Jesus. I used to pee about once a day at work, but I’m probably at five or six times a day at this point. The only nice thing is that it further breaks up my day and separates me briefly from annoyances. Since I’m still experiencing general fatigue, I’m going to go to bed early tonight, skipping a movie in favor of dreams.

DAY FIVE: I can say with absolute certainty that I have crossed the hump. I woke up this morning feeling better than I have ever felt in my life. I wanted to leap out of bed and sing songs. I wanted to run a million miles (or at least to work). I felt invincible! People at work noticed the difference. There was a definite bounce in my step and everything seemed clearer around me – the world a little brighter. I think my skin even had a bit of a glow to it. A good night’s rest certainly helped bring this about, but it’s also more than that. I went to the movies and out to “dinner” (of course, I didn’t eat) with a friend tonight, and even though I watched her eat a delicious dish of crab & artichoke dip with french bread crostini, it didn’t even register with me. Probably because we were too busy being all chatty. But over all, day 5 has been the best yet.

DAY SIX: And still going strong! I wasn’t as energetic as I was yesterday, but that was partially the late night. I still feel good and strong and am generally unafflicted by hunger pangs. Toward the evening, I got sucked into staring at food on Pinterest again, but I’ve planned out my breaking of the fast next week and I think that helps. I know what I have to look forward too, and while it certainly isn’t glamorous, I am looking forward to eating food again. The taste, the texture, all of it except it actually being in my body...weird, I know. I’ve gotten used to this incredible empty feeling though. I feel like a bird, like I could almost fly. As much as I want to eat food again, and of course will, I sort of cringe thinking about the way it feels sitting in your stomach, like a rock. Even if you eat the right foods in the right amounts. Another problem today was just boredom. It’s good to be occupied on a fast, and today I was occupied mostly with pinning recipes on Pinterest. Fun, to be sure, but not as helpful as say, seeing the movie was last night. To make up for lack of sleep and to get away from food pins though, I am showering and going to bed early. Tomorrow is the long awaited day 7. (I say long awaited, but it seems like it got here fast!) Now the question is...can I go 8?

DAY SEVEN: Mission accomplished! Although I am going for day 8. That may prove tricky as the current plan for tomorrow includes more strenuous activity than I’ve undertaken on the fast. I still feel like I’ll be fine though. Today was a good day. And not that you were wondering, but the fast has not stopped me from getting a visit from Aunt Flow. I know! You totally don’t want to know! But the thing is, for the first time in...ever...I don’t have any cramps. It’s amazing and the reason is a mystery. I can’t link it directly to the fast, or the candida cleanse, but my hope is that both have worked to balance my wacky hormones. So back to day 7 – not much to say. A day like any other. Woke up, dreaded flushing my body like normal, but felt great afterward. Went to work, drank water, took a walk at lunchtime (I’ve been loving my lunchtime walks!) and then back to the computer. I left at a reasonable hour, headed home and got ready for my day out with my girlfriends tomorrow. I also got ready to do my first grocery shopping in over a week. It’s a short list since I’ll be easing out of the fast at a snail’s pace, but it all sounds delicious, especially the fruit, which I haven’t eaten in almost five weeks.

DAY EIGHT: I was up even earlier than a work day to get out to Maryland to meet up with the girls, but of course, it was totally worth it. We met for breakfast at a cute little place and I forced some more lemon water down my throat while admiring the smell of coffee (something I’ve never really had a taste for). I still don’t feel very tempted by the food of others, or at least I didn’t until our hiking plans turned into berry picking plans. Under sunny, clear blue skies, it is very difficult to pick berries and not taste one or two now and then. I found myself thinking, “Well, technically today is a bonus day...” but I stayed strong. Even after we went back to Angela’s house and she made fresh whipped cream and I sliced up some cheese and we laid out crackers and hummus. That is a post-berry-picking feast for queens, let me tell you. But again, I prevailed. When I got home later that night, I walked to the grocery store in the rain and bought my 10 items without much enthusiasm. I honestly am not looking that forward to eating again. I am...but I’m also not. So that’s it, I guess. Tomorrow’s the start of my new eating life and it all begins with fresh orange juice!



More to come on my “day 9” and the plan for easing out...

Confession

I am about to share something pretty controversial with you. More controversial than my “no poo” lifestyle. Brace yourself and keep an open mind when I say:

I recently completed an 8-day fast.

That’s right. Eight whole days without consuming any food.

So let’s go ahead and get the basics out of the way. No, I’m not anorexic. Seriously, I love food more than air. If I could I would trade air for food any day!

No, I wasn’t trying to lose weight. Unfortunately (or fortunately for those who fast for reasons that weren’t mine), weight loss is an inevitability when you fast. I can’t say how much weight I lost, but I will say that I’m looking forward to getting it back. Not just because it means I get to eat food again, but because I don’t actually want to be gross skinny. And I’m small enough as it is, so gross skinny is a real danger for me.

So why did I do it?

Well, let me back up. It all started with a candida cleanse. Which, by the way, I had great success with. I needed to clear some (or a whole lot) of yeast from my body which were messing with all kinds of things, but most especially my skin and my hoo-ha (sorry, but it’s true). I explained the cleanse to some of my friends as they commented on me not drinking alcohol and not eating certain things at parties or events or what have you. (And by the way, apparently when you are my age and live in this city and politely tell someone you’re not drinking, they will, without fail, ask you if you’re pregnant. I was tempted on several occasions to answer ‘yes,’ but alas, I never did).

One of my friends was particularly excited about the cleanse and told me how she and her boyfriend had read an article in Harper’s Weekly about fasting and had really been wanting to try it. It turns out there’s a fascinating medical history to fasting and the benefits it can have for the human body – from alleviating diabetes or stopping seizures, to even some tests on rats showing that it increases longevity.

If you think about it as I did, this makes a certain amount of sense. Humans are the only species that have the option to eat every day of the year. True, not all human are able to due to a variety of circumstances, but if you’re a working American, you probably eat three to four square meals a day every day of the year. Well, back just a couple of centuries ago, this wasn’t the case. Sometimes you were between harvests and had eaten your winter store of food and that was that. It was some dried roots or nothing at all for a couple of weeks. This alone didn’t really kill anyone as far as science can tell. It’s the same for all other animal species – none of them eat every day of the year. Sometimes there just isn’t a gazelle or some plankton or whatever. You just keep a lookout until there is and then it’s party time in your belly.

So of course it made sense to me that fasting wouldn’t kill you and was maybe even part of the natural course of living your life. The health benefits were the most interesting to me though, namely 1) detoxing and 2) repair.

I was on the candida cleanse because I needed to detox my body of some of the gross things it had built up over the years from frequent antibiotic use, especially in my youth, as well as several years of a processed, Western diet. (Can you say high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils for a solid 20 years?) The detox was my number one priority. Well, a fast is like a detox on steroids. Because you’re not taking in anything new really, you just are continually flushing the bad things out. –In theory anyway, I’m not a doctor, just an internet article reader.

Related to that is the idea of repair. Because your body isn’t spending energy digesting food, it can redirect that energy elsewhere. Say, to repairing cells. Repairing your digestive system. Finally fighting all those stupid yeasts that have been crowding out your good bacteria and making you break out and have athletes foot and yeast infections and tons of other really un-fun things. I definitely came a long way fighting the yeast on the candida cleanse, but the fast seemed like a nice way to top it off.

So basically, fasting is a total body reset. I fasted for 8 days, although generally speaking people recommend 10 days to get the full benefits. Given my size, I thought I’d be just fine doing 7 instead (the 8th day was a bonus). I also wasn’t committed to carrying it through no matter what since I didn’t feel I had to do it, it was just a nice add-on to what I was doing. So from the start I felt no pressure. One day? Fine. Three days? Hey, way to go! Five days? ROCKING IT! And then seven days would make me the ballingest of all ballers.

Not having the pressure to continue no matter what definitely helped. I also did a lot of research to distinguish between normal detox symptoms (many of which I experienced on the cleanse like breaking out, general fatigue, etc.) and indications that I should break the fast (e.g. dizziness, disrupted vision, fainting, serious shit like that). I knew I would stop if any of my detox symptoms crossed the line. Luckily, none of that happened to me. I was able to carry through and I’m so proud. This was also an incredible test of endurance for me, pushing my willpower and helping me to see food differently in a good way.

How’s that? Well, I proved that you can bypass cravings if you want to, for one. Just let those cravings walk on by, or, in my new eating life, replace the craving with something else (hopefully better).

So there you have it. I didn’t eat food for 8 days and I didn’t die, didn’t even really feel all that bad, and am now on my way to eating normal foods again. I was going to post my reactions/descriptions of each day, but since I waxed on so long already, I’ll save that for my next post, and then I’ll do another post about how I am following up. How do you break an 8-day fast anyway? What kinds of foods am I going to eat from now on? These were all questions I had to answer for myself, and I think I’ve settled on some reasonable ways forward.

So, as with the “no poo” saga, stay tuned for the next installment.

I'm Not A Runner, But I Play One On TV

I'm not on TV, but whatever.

I've been using the C25K program to get ready for a 5k that's coming up in a week.  With a history of knee problems, and frankly, not being the kind of person who enjoys running, I gave myself extra time to complete the 8 week program.  Here's where I've been:

1.  The first two weeks of the program are pretty easy.  So easy, in fact, that I thought, "Hey, I can do this daily instead of every other day!"  The result, of course, was painful shin splints that sidelined me for a week.  Ouch.

2.  Inevitably, one will get sick while trying out a new fitness routine.  And if one is coughing and hacking and wheezing, expect to be sidelined for at least a few days.

3.  It's okay to start the running program over again.  Fair enough.  Those first two weeks still felt easy, but in order to avoid shin splints, I followed the plan of every other day.

4.  The next few weeks will go okay, with some repeat days in between to build up endurance.  I've always had trouble regulating my breathing while running and I found that week 5 was difficult for me.

5.  Inevitably, because I'm clumsy, I'll end up with an injury that I choose to ignore.  I've learned that running on two broken toes is not the smartest thing I've ever done.  They will hurt.  They will not heal properly.  And by the time I figure this out, I'll end up having to take a little time off to let the bones set.  When I start running again, I found that I'd lost some of my endurance and in an effort to get back to where I needed to be, tried to run daily.  Result?  Shin splints.  Again.  Ouch. 

6.  To speed the shin splint recovery process, I buy cushioned insoles for my running shoes to absorb some of the shock during running.  It helps.  But.  Problem?  My shoes have already shaped to my feet.  So, the shoes are now rubbing in weird places and I end up with blisters.  Solution?  Lots of first aid ointment and bandaids--covered with duct tape.  Yes, the duct tape stays in place over the bandaids and no more blister pain.

7.  Taking it easy and going back to week 4.  I'm okay with this.  If I do this right, I'll be right on target to finish the program and run 3 miles ON race day.  Scary, but I believe I can do it.  Proud that I'm gradually building distance and speed.  It's beyond awesome to be jogging along when the program's voice says, "Start walking," and I think, "Wow, I feel like I could keep going for a while!"

8.  Husband's post-car accident neck pain will (conveniently...ahem) flare up the week before the kiddo's birthday party and he just CAN'T help with any cleaning or organizing in preparation for the party.  So I take a few days off.  Okay, fine, I take 6 days off because I got totally lazy.

9.  Day after the party, I decide I need to get into gear because I'm getting short on time.  I'll be a few days behind the training program's targets, but I'm still feeling pretty confident.  I get up to go running and feel yucky.  Worn out and fatigued.  Dull throbbing in my kidneys.  Go back to bed.  Later (okay, a day later) discover that UTI that has migrated upward toward my kidneys.  Gross.  And given the bladder surgery I had to remove cancer a few years ago, well, my bladder is not the strongest organ in my body.  Seriously felt like I was going to wet my pants.  Told Sister #1 that I could probably pee on myself if I was hot and sweaty and nobody would notice.  I didn't.  I end up taking another 5 days off.

10.  Last night, moved back to week 4 in the training program and could only run for a few minutes at a time.  Booooo.

So...I'm okay with walking/jogging this 5k.  Did I want to run the whole thing?  Heck yeah!  But I'll be the person not in great shape who walks more than half of it and irritates the serious runners blowing by me.  But I'll cross the finish line...slowly, but it will be crossed.

My toes are healing.  The antibiotics are working.

And there's another 5k in September!  Brookfield Zoo Run anyone??

Margaret's Action Items 2012

Not resolutions nor goals, more along the lines of a serious "to do" list:

• buy a bedskirt
• write a page-a-day for 30 days straight
• publish a novel
• buy a new wool winter coat
• wear eyeshadow more often
• try a recipe for something new
• pick a new language to learn (not actually learn it yet)
• jog three miles in 30 minutes at least once

New & Delicious

The new paint color, paired with the dark wood trim in my front hallway, reminds me of chocolate cake.

Life is so much better with cake!

Looking...

I could use a few suggestions on something new to try...a one-time attempt at something, a new hobby, new activity, new something.

I've been in a rut. Juggling my crazy schedule tends to result in that--I get so caught up in the daily tasks that I forget about enjoying myself. I'm so restless. I want to travel but feel like my finances don't allow for that right now, so it's on a back burner. I've neglected my friendships and as the years go by, it's funny how much I notice the "difference" in being the first one in my circle of friends to marry and have a baby. And not to have anymore babies. Friendships change over time, you know?

Wow...that was whiny. I don't mean to be whiny. I just need some help in thinking outside of the proverbial box.

There's usually some comfort in reading and cooking, but I'm finding that to be more irritating than soothing these days. Other ideas? Something not too time-intensive since I usually work about 60 hours a week and then have to catch up on cleaning and laundry on the weekends.

What do you mean it's not 1954?

      Several weeks ago, I bought the cutest pale yellow skirt on the planet. I've been really into yellows lately and this just screamed "summer" and "soda shop" and "sock hop" and other words that start with 's' that are spectacular (yes, chose that word on purpose).

      You know how, when you buy things online though, they're not always what you think they'll be like? Well, that's sort of the way it happened with this skirt in that it wasn't as full as it looked in the pictures. I had it hemmed a bit by my local tailor (yes, I have a local tailor, located right next store to my local handyman!) and that helped give it a bit of pep, but I knew it needed something else.

      But what?

      So of course I emailed Sister #1 and was like, "Do people still buy petticoats? If so, where do I get one?"

      There are really only two answers to the question of where to find a petticoat: 1) the internet or 2) your local seamstress. And unfortunately, my local tailor is not quite a seamstress, so we had to go with option 1.

      Has anyone else noticed lately that the internet is an abyss? Because it is. And shopping for a petticoat online is possibly one of the most difficult things I've done with the internet. It didn't help that I know literally NOTHING about petticoats. Like what one is supposed to look like. How are you supposed to tell pictures apart? Also, the internet is full of costume petticoats. But I didn't want a costume petticoat, I wanted something a normal person could wear every day, or at least something that I could wear every day.

      Internet, let me save you a lot of trouble on this one. Go straight to Etsy.com. I'm probably an idiot for not thinking of it in the first place.

      BAM! Petticoat paradise. Not only that, but so much clarity on the differences between petticoats, pettiskirts, pettislips, you can pretty much put "petti" in front of anything and buy it on Etsy. Aaaaaaa-mazing.

      A mere two weeks after I began this adventure, I have a lovely, custom-made pettislip (less oompf than the petticoat and perfect for an already pleated skirt like this one). I bought it in traditional white, but there are a gazillion (or 13...more like 13) colors available, as well as choices of materials (I went all organdy). And now I can rock the 1950s like Ike's still president.

      Holla to the fallout sheltah!

Are Flat Sheets Fancy?

Don't people use flat sheets when making up their beds? I mean, sheet sets still come with a fitted sheet, flat sheet, and pillow cases, right? We always had a flat sheet and then a blanket on our beds when we were little. I make my beds with the flat sheet. In fact, on my bed there's a flat sheet, blanket, another flat sheet, and then the comforter on top. That might be considered fancy, but not if it was just the first flat sheet.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because we had a young houseguest last week who was completely baffled by the flat sheet when I made up the (air mattress) bed for her. She had no idea what it was. And I remember a long time ago someone mentioning the fanciness of the extra sheet on my bed. What? Do people eat the extra sheet that comes in the set? Why do they think it's fancy?

I think it would be strange to not have one. What do you think?

Resolutions

I hate New Year's resolutions. Despise them. But that doesn't stop me from making a few every year. This year, I'm keeping them small...

• I will go to at least 3 concerts, even if I have to go by myself.
• I will make an effort to post on my blog and the sister blog at least weekly.
• I will get a referral for an orthopedist to see what it's going to take to fix my knee.
• I will read at least one book per month. This is crucial. I tend to go long periods of time without reading and then try to cram in a bunch of books when I'm not busy. But I LIKE reading and I want to do more of it...so, it's on my list.
• I will take more pictures.
• I will pay off one credit card.
• I will spend more time outside. :)

That's it. Any resolutions for you, dear sisters?

Now It's Summer

Beauty Notes

I have noticed that Victoria always seems to have the loveliest nail polish colors. She should post a picture of her beautiful turquoise toes.

What is making you feel pretty lately?

How?

How do you keep your writing organized? And research? I feel like I'm missing some key component to organizing while working on a project. Please... tell me what you do!

OUTRAGED

I have used the same Dove deep moisture bodywash for about seven years. Yesterday, I bought a refill, which had the same name, but some sort of "new" moisture ingredient. And what do I end up with? 24 ounces of STINK.

TOUCHDOWN!

      Well, Slackers, it's that time again, that time when I tell you how awesome I'm doing on my New Years Goals. Don't worry though, this is just a crutch, a pitiful salve for my otherwise sorry life. Still, I have to gloat over something, right?

• Make this apartment feel like home: Stick a fork in it, it's done. On Saturday, I bought a large vase and some forsythia to put in it and it's sitting on my entryway table. I pretty much live in a catalog. Thank you, and yes, you should visit soon.



• Love my job: Last week I hated it. This week I will probably hate it as well. But at least my boss is a nearly endless source of entertainment.



• Go someplace I've never been in the US: Done and DONE, whores. (No further comment).



• Write every day: Yup, pretty much writing like it's my job. Too bad it doesn't pay as much as my job. If it did, I'd totally quit my job and just write. Oh well. Gotta keep those muscles flexed for NaNo.



• Blog once a week: My blog is like a spring garden in bloom or something.



• Write more letters: If this had been "buy more stationery," I would totally be done with it. As it is, still not doing that bad.



• Be a better friend, especially by communicating more through telephone and email: I'm feeling a little sassy tonight, so let's just say that I'm a better friend than some people deserve. I've been doing GREAT lately, and some people are just not reciprocal. I can't be blamed for that.



• Be a better friend to the planet by being energy and waste conscious: If the planet and I become any better friends, we're probably going to have to start dating.



• *Expletive, expletive* update my *expletive* iPod: Done, done, mother-effin DONE.



• Read more books: I have bought more books this year than I read all of last year. I'm pretty much ready to declare victory.



• Spend more time outside: It's been rainy and I've been using that as an excuse, but I shouldn't. Still, the outside time this year has been pretty sensational

      Wait, that's it? Almost too easy. Can we just declare me the winner? And don't give me some line about how "this isn't a competition."

I'm doing remarkably well

      ...Especially in the face of you slackers! Not only have I been writing the shit out of the world lately (I forgot, can we say shit?), but as of now, I'm the only one still checking in on our original New Year Goals. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that regardless of how the math works out below, I deserve bonus points.

• Make this apartment feel like home: When I got back from vacation, I sighed and thought "Ah, home... All my stuff, right where I left it." That has to count for something, right? I still haven't gotten that darned chair though. I don't know what's holding me up. I visit it online at least once a week...



• Love my job: Working in August was almost as great as it would have been if I worked on the Hill. However, I still dream of the latter.



• Go someplace I've never been in the US: Done and DONE, whores.



• Write every day: I don't know about every day (to be honest, I've been caught up in reading!), but I am still writing. I just need to catch up on the "doing something" with it. I'm horribly behind on that part.



• Blog once a week: How good was I in July? Totally so good.



• Write more letters: I've randomly improved thanks to a flurry of postcards and thank-you notes. I still need to catch up on the general correspondence though, especially now that Mom is on my back, too. Does she really think that the MacStewart family can single-handedly prevent the death of letter-writing? You're right, you're right...that probably is true.



• Be a better friend, especially by communicating more through telephone and email: Struggling, but still trying. I'll leave it at that.



• Be a better friend to the planet by being energy and waste conscious: I was wracked with guilt by the knowledge that I used the dryer TWICE in the past nine weeks, but seeing as how my yearly total is still really low, I've finally gotten over it. Of course, as I say that, I'm surrounded by my clothes hanging on hangers all over my apartment. I'm such a green bug.



• *Expletive, expletive* update my *expletive* iPod: It's getting better, I promise.



• Read more books: God, I'm so obsessed with Twilight, and I don't really care who knows it. Now I have to back to reading the Bible for a bit before I move on to the Uglies series. I'm quite happy with my reading this year. In case I haven't mentioned it already, it's been way better than last year, and last year I ran a book club!



• Spend more time outside: Last week I was the brownest person in the world and it felt glorious. I would say that I spent 89% of my vacation outside and it was phenomenal, jellyfish sting and all!

      TOOT, TOOT! That's right, I think I deserve a few more toots on my own horn.

Did I say six? I meant nine.

      Nine weeks, not six weeks. I don't know why we ever thought we could commit to six week check-ins for our goals. We're all busy MacStewarts. We've got lives to live. I'm pretty excited that I'm beating you all on this one though.

• Make this apartment feel like home: I have found the perfect chair, and I may be on the verge of saving the money for said perfect chair. Picture updates when all my dreams come true. In the mean time, I have begun to hang living room wall art, which I think is the people relationship equivalent to getting engaged to my apartment.


• Love my job: My CEO is the funniest, littlest man in the world, except for the fact that he's actually not little at all. But I'm still enjoying working for him, late nights and all.


• Go someplace I've never been in the US: The dates are confirmed in August and I will be going to Charleston, SC, and I am in charge of planning our day trip to Savannah, GA. Go ahead: be jealous. Better yet: meet us there!


• Write every day: I had a dry spell exacerbated by poor internet service and hectic work demands, but I am climbing back into the saddle.


• Blog once a week: I'm still really sucking at this.


• Write more letters: I'm faring better than I did at my last check-in, but still doing rather poorly with my correspondence. I'd like to borrow one hour from one work day once a week and dedicate it to writing letters and notes, and I am going to try to do that. No one should work 12 hours every day of the week anyway.


• Be a better friend, especially by communicating more through telephone and email: There was recently an uptick in this category that I was inordinately proud of.


• Be a better friend to the planet by being energy and waste conscious: I realized that I only fill one trash bag (like a normal kitchen size one) about ever month and a half, although I recycle with twice as much frequency. I think this is a good measurement of habit full adopted. I'm still turning off lights except for rooms in which I'm using them, showering briefing, using air conditioning sparingly, and using my canvas bag at the grocery store. The young girls at my neighborhood market are now fully accustomed to it and actually help me fill it at check-out. Love them.


• *Expletive, expletive* update my *expletive* iPod: I got some good updating in, but I couldn't say I have the finish line in sight yet.


• Read more books: I am a book-reading machine! And I'm so shameless about it. I would say everyone in this city right now probably knows that I'm reading "Team of Rivals" because it's all I ever talk about. It's an amazing (and amazingly long) book, and I hope to be done in the next two weeks so I can move on to my next challenge. I also loved "Thunderstruck" in case anyone's looking for a good read. It's nonfiction by the same author (Erik Larson) who wrote "Devil in the white City". You can learn all about Marconi and the wireless telegraph, and then you will be as educated as Elinor who took a social studies test on this last year.


• Spend more time outside: Check, check, check. Also importantly, I am so good about wearing sunscreen. One day I'm going to be a great mom!

      And there you have it. I still suck at a couple of these that are really important to me, but in terms of the good habits that I've started, I'm definitely pleased to see that some have stuck for good. Now if I can just get the other ones to dig their heels into me...

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was 1986"

      You didn't!? Well what have you been thinking? So far today I've not only referenced Flintstone Push Ups, but also bagel chips, Capri Suns, Ghostbusters, and the hit 80's game Battleship.

      So come, join me. Let us party like it's summer 1986...

I'm obviously failing already

Let's call it a seven and a half week check-in

    The thing about making excuses is that they never really sound that good. I've been trying to stop making them for that reason among many others, so here comes my somewhat belated evaluation on my goals/life:

• Make this apartment feel like home: I will blog separately to show you what I've done with my bedroom, but that room feels brand new at the moment. I also bought a clock for the kitchen, which made me feel a lot like I imagine the victims of the Titanic must have felt when they saw the Carpathia arrive.


• Love my job: So in case you haven't heard, I got a pretty big promotion at work last month. I don't mean to be annoying or ungrateful, but while I'd say that I suppose I do "love" my new job, I'm not exactly "in love" with it. It's a pretty subtle difference, but it's there nonetheless. Still, I'm going to put half a check mark here and call it a day.


• Go someplace I've never been in the US: The list of possibilities keeps growing!


• Write every day: Still doing pretty well with this, although this week was probably the worst I've had in a while, surprisingly.


• Blog once a week: Ugh, why can't I seem to blog like a normal person? This one is my D- goal.


• Write more letters: Fail. I'm so behind on this. I keep thinking about how I need to do it, and then I get distracted. I've been sending postcards as a stop-gap measure, but I need to just sit down at the table today and lay out a few pages like a good little correspondent.


• Be a better friend, especially by communicating more through telephone and email: I'm still struggling with this one as well. As I said in February, with some people I've improved (thank goodness), but with many others, I know I haven't been as good a friend as I know I can be, and that's been making me sad.


• Be a better friend to the planet by being energy and waste conscious: I'd say I'm still doing well on this one. I might even say that I've made it up to A-.


• *Expletive, expletive* update my *expletive* iPod: I have my iPod next to me right now, and I am going to finally start on this long, arduous, no-good, very-necessary task.


• Read more books: I have two new books that I haven't even cracked open yet, and I'm ashamed to admit that. I've been hung up on Sophie's World since last month, and I just haven't finished yet. Usually I read on my morning commute, and the past month I've chosen to zone-out to my un-updated iPod instead. Shame. Shaaaaaaaaame!


• Spend more time outside: Not doing so bad, but not as good as I was doing, either. At least the past few weeks I've been able to have the windows open to let a little of the outside in. In the next few weeks, I plan to be out more, but for this seven and a half week period, I know I could have done better.

    What do you think, Sisters? I think my average grade is probably a solid C? Maybe even C+?

Goal Checks...

First, I need to say that while Sister #1 only gave herself a C- for eating more vegetables, I’d give myself at least a B+. I suspect I’m eating her share of veggies along with my own…asparagus, carrots and spaghetti squash in the same meal…mmmmmmm. The older I get, the more I love vegetables.

But onto my own goals…

Expressing my emotions/living life on my terms: D. I was doing so good for a while, but I hit a few road blocks. Turns out that not everyone is thrilled with me fully communicating my needs and wants and honestly expressing myself. I've been doing it nicely and appropriately, not being bitchy or anything, but because it's unusual for me to really share what I'm feeling, some people are struggling. That rejection shut me down in a hurry. I need to get back to doing better, because when I was, my stomach stopped hurting so much.



Making a new friend: I’d give myself an A+! I’ve made a really great friend and I’m re-discovering the simple pleasures of honest conversations and laughing at the same things. I might even give myself an A++ on this one because I’m also making a fantastic connection with another new friend. We have similar personalities (scary, I know) and a lot of the same spiritual beliefs. We have long talks about life, love and God. Never mind that she’s 27 years older than me! She’s young at heart and I’m an old soul, so it’s a good friendship match.

Weight loss: so-so. I’d give myself a C. I got pretty lazy for a while, but I’m back into a good routine. I’m working hard to do cardio, sit ups and push ups in the mornings and Pilates in the evenings. The pounds aren’t melting away, but my clothes are fitting better and I have more energy.

De-cluttering/less is more: B-. After painting the living room, I got a bad case of the “I wants”, but I didn’t get too carried away. I bought a few little things to spruce it up, not things I needed by any means, but still nice. I’ve also let my closet and the linen closet get cluttered—but I think the linen closet trolls had a hand in that. I bought a new sewing machine last weekend, and even though it’s an “extra”, it motivated me to organize my sewing stuff, so that was a good thing.

Self-esteem: eh, it depends. As I’m cleaning up my life (environmentally, spiritually and mentally), I’m finding that I like myself more. Turns out I’m pretty good company and a decent person! I’m working on keeping my OCD in check (like not organizing the pantry by can, box, size and color) and after the initial shock of it, it brought some peace to my busy mind. It’s forcing me to remember that my value as a person isn’t tied to being “perfect.”



Of course, the Four Crazy Sisters are all perfect, no matter what.

A Low Point

Marked in my planner today is a goal check for 2009. I'm certain this is not going to be what I had hoped, but the past six weeks have been crazy--as we all know.

• eat more veggies: C-

• lose 5 lbs.: very challenging to keep the lost weight off

• use green bags 90% of the time: still good!

• reduce food and paper waste: the food waste seems to have crept back up. No one wants leftover leftovers.

• write more letters: only sent two out in the last six weeks

• next novel, start to finish: I have too many ideas to be productive. How can I corral them effectively? Help!
  

• paint something: since two walls were taken down, insulation installed, and walls replaced in the back room, I will have a painting chore soon. Maybe even this weekend.
  

• keep laundry room tidy: Disaster. Everywhere, though, not just there. It's because of the home repairs.

• check-in on goals: check