But It Was Mine!

I get grumpy when there’s a song that I adore and I feel like it’s “mine” because nobody else has ever heard of it, for months or even years.  And then it ends up on some goofy TV show and everyone is all, “Oh, what a great song!”  And I’m all like, “Bitches, that song is MINE.”

I adore this song.  The music, the lyrics, the message.

It’s one of those songs that I listen to at 2am when the world is silent…torn-apart silent.  When I’m torn-apart silent.  When the crushing weight of secrets that are too dark to share are suddenly on the verge of spilling out of me.  It’s one of those songs that even when I’m lying on my bed quietly contemplating my life and having no idea what to do next…when I feel like I’m free falling from some incredible height and not sure if I’m going to crash and burn or build a new set of wings to take me to unknown heights…when the picture in my head of what my life was supposed to be is nowhere close to what my life actually is…when I know what’s best but don’t do it…when my head gets in the way of my heart…when I need to reflect on the past in order to face the future…when I’ve spent so much time making myself into the person I need to be for everyone else that I don’t remember the truth of who I really am…when I’m not sure if I’m hurting more over what I thought I had or what I actually lost…when I realize that there will always be unfinished business…when I’m holding a match and getting ready to burn a bridge, just praying that the flames will light my way…when I shut my eyes to avoid facing everything ahead of me…but a few lonely tears manage to slip out even though my eyes are closed.  That kind of song.

And it ended up on some goofy TV show.  Boooo.