Profile

The hubs and I were joking a while back that we should each join a dating website and see if our profiles would lead us to being linked with each other.

We concluded that there wasn't a chance in hell we would be deemed compatible.

Almost 10 years married must mean that there's something (I think?) that keeps us together, but I started laughing, thinking about what I would put in my profile. I mean, what would I say about myself that would be meaningful, yet still paint a picture of who I really am?

I'm the offspring of MacGyver and Martha Stewart. I'm pretty optimistic, but enough of a realist that I recognize bad things sometimes happen. Laughing is one of my favorite activities and I'd like to do more of it. I'm dependable and loyal to my family and friends and will take out anyone who tries to hurt them. I have a great sense of humor, but it can be pretty dry and sarcastic. People are comfortable talking to me and I'm a great listener--so great, that I get paid to listen to people talk about their problems. I've been described by one of my closest friends as the "unusually unusual girl next door." I really enjoy reading and cooking and adore long walks on the beach...alone. I like things clean and orderly and prefer the scent of original Windex (who came up with that Crystal Rain crap?) and either lemon or outdoor fresh allergen-reducer Pledge. I've been in a long, happy and monogamous 3-way relationship with my Shark Steam Mop and my Oreck vacuum cleaner. We're a package deal.

You know who would want to date me? Danny Tanner from Full House. That would be the only response I would get.