Random Thoughts

Christmas is just about two weeks away. Every time I turn around lately, I hear people talking about shopping, complaining about the crowds, grumping about something. I'm trying to figure out at what point the spirit of Christmas changed from actually meaning something, to being all about...I don't know what word to use. Commercialism?

Don't get me wrong. I like buying gifts for people and I enjoy the overall holiday spirit, but I guess for me, it means something more than just "stuff", at least in terms of "stuff" for me. Part of the spirit of the season, at least for me, has to do with little things and sharing more than usual. I'm pretty good at sharing in my daily life, but as much as possible, I increase that during the holiday season. I was grocery shopping this past weekend and the Salvation Army bell ringer was standing outside of the store, cheerfully greeting people, ringing the bell. I didn't have much in the way of grocery money in the first place, but that didn't stop me from stuffing two dollars into the bucket. The Christmas-gift budget is tight, but that doesn't stop our family from sponsoring a needy family from the Angel Tree. Having a tight budget just means there's more room for creativity! And besides, the hubs and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts for years--we much prefer the idea of taking the money we would have spent on each other and helping someone else have a brighter holiday.

I know the holiday season isn't easy for everyone. I'm fortunate to have a job that I've been at for over a decade, but I'm very aware that other people aren't so fortunate. Christmas means being able to spend time with my family, including my wonderful Sisters! But I know that not everyone has family to be with--not on Christmas, maybe not anytime. During the holiday season, I think about how very, very much I have to be thankful for. I know that others may not feel thankful--sometimes, for very legitimate reasons.

This time of year puts me in a "taking stock" mood, too. Screw ups over the past year? Too many. More than I can count. Successes in the past year? Plenty if I think about it, but the ones that stick out are related to my job, getting up the nerve to learn how to swim and hitting the one-year anniversary of being cancer-free. With screw ups and successes come all kinds of changes--some welcome, some unwelcome. And yet, at the end of the day and the end of the year, somehow, someway, it's all okay.

Maybe that's what it's all about. Just being okay. I think I'm okay with that.