Apple Trees

There’s that old saying about how, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” As I get older, I see how true that is.

Remember how dad used to yell at us when we would get huffy with him about something? He’d be all, “Don’t you exhale at me.” I remember several years back, hearing those same words come out of Sister #1’s mouth during a minor quarrel with her husband. (FYI: He then proceeded to dramatically inhale at her.)

I see bits of dad in all of us. Like believing in The Force when things are scary or crazy…or scary crazy. I was gently talking my daughter through some breathing issues that strongly resembled an asthma attack (but wasn’t), and I heard dad’s words, but coming out in my own voice. As I held her and rocked her, massaging her back and chest the doctor showed me, I was softly whispering, “Mommy’s here. There’s nothing to be afraid of. The Force is with us.” Like a twenty-month-old would know what I’m talking about, right?

There are universal traits among the four sisters that undeniably come from dad—like the look. The look that says, “If you say one more word to me, I will have no choice but to yank your lower lip up over your face.” And there’s that slightly odd posture we all have—it looks slouched, but it’s not, and all of us sort of curve our necks forward. People tell me all the time that it looks like I’m a predator on the loose, seeking out some unsuspecting prey. Maybe that’s a good thing! Or that thing we do when we’re walking away from someone who has pissed us off, only he or she just has to get in one more word, so in an eerie, time-suspended sort of way, we slowly turn around and look back at the offender—and for a split second, we feel our faces morph into something that’s not quite human and we whisper out, “Excuse me?” When I do that, the offender usually swallows hard and responds with, “N-n-nothing.”

Of course, we did get some things from mom—our hips certainly didn’t come from dad. Hahahahaha! Seriously, though, when we’re really, really pissed, we all get that shrilly tone of voice that commands attention. It’s not always good attention, because people are usually thinking, “What the hell is that sound and how do I make it stop?” And I think we’re all slightly OCD—that whole thing about symmetry in decorating. I remember mom spending hours trying to center something on a wall until it looked just right.

Now, as I watch my little girl grow and change, I see some of her dad in her mannerisms (and in the strength of her farts), and I see a lot of me in her, too. Like when she sees a single drop of milk on the table and runs for a napkin to mop it up…or when she makes her bed over and over, until it’s “just right” and when she snorts because she’s laughing uncontrollably and there are tears running down her chubby little cheeks…or when I ask her to do something and she pauses, looks up at me, raises an eyebrow and quietly, but firmly, says, “No.” And, like a dumb mom, I’ll ask her again, but her simple response is “Nope. Don’t think so.”

There is truth in the statement that, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Or maybe the apple never falls at all.