It Went Down Like Titanic

When I bought new furniture in 2004, I knew it wouldn't last long. I mean, it was a floor sample from a furniture store that was going out of business. The furniture has survived a move (in nasty, freezing rain), my huge pregnant behind, and now, a squealing, happy twenty month old jumping on it. Today, its slow death started.

The munchkin is sick so we're at home today, just chilling out, and she was laying on the couch curled up under a blanket. She lifted a corner of her blanket and said, "Mommy, under blankie, please?" So, I snuggled up next to her and held her in my arms while we watched Sesame Street--specifically, Elmo's World, when he explores what it's like to go to the doctor. (A very fitting episode, by the way, since we have an appointment with the pediatrician later today.)

Anyway, it was just about time for lunch, so I disentangled myself from her and proceeded to sit up. That's when it happened. As I shifted my weight, I heard this low, agonizing groan coming from somewhere underneath me. It was not my stomach and I don't have gas, so I knew it wasn't coming from me. I felt a sudden shift and knew I needed to get up in a hurry. I couldn't move fast enough, and I ended up sinking down into the sofa a few inches. I suddenly remembered what it was like to fall into a toilet (minus the wet butt). I sat there for a minute, arms flailing, trying to get up.

And my daughter? Well, she watched me struggle, then threw her own arms up in the air and waved them about, loudly declaring, "Mommy, no dance."

Hmmm. She thought that was dancing? Good thing a spring from the couch didn't poke through into my rear end. That would have some interesting dancing.