Monday, August 01, 2011

Trolls

You know how we joke about "linen closet trolls"? 

Well, we joke, but we know they're real.  Those little bastards mess up the linen closet right after it's been all organized, am I right?  They hide stuff, move towels, unwrap toilet paper.  They like to mess with our heads.

Linen closet trolls apparently have jackass relatives that live in my freezer.

They did not mess up my freezer.

They opened the freezer door and left it open.

I know they were all like, "Heya b-yotch.  We think it's kick-ass that you did a bunch of grocery shopping and put all the stuff you were going to cook in the next 7-10 days in the freezer above the fridge instead of the big ass deep freezer.  We're cramped in here now.  So...screw you, lady.  We're gonna kick the door open and make some room for our badass selves."

And they did.  I came home from work to a soupy, soppy mess on the kitchen floor.  The freezer was open about an inch, just enough that in 7 hours, almost everything melted into slimy pools. 

It was not the best part of my day.  No, the best part was when I slipped in the soupy, soppy mess and slammed my chin into the refrigerator handle.  That was the best part of my day.

The only saving grace is that most of the meat was toward the back, so even though it had thawed, at least it was still cold.

So...I spent the evening cooking a dozen chicken breasts, figuring out how many different ways to make pork, sauteing 36 pierogis and I forget what else.

Looks like I have no excuses for not packing a lunch for work this week.  Lots of leftovers to choose from.  (sigh...)

1 comment:

Margaret said...

I think the linen closet trolls who have jackass relatives living in your freezer also have associates who live the high life inside my writing desk. How does that thing get so f'ed up?

Well, what else can I say? Enjoy lunch?