Not Quite 2011 Yet, But...

It's time to cut 2010 with a knife and steal its lunch money!

In 2010, I gained a new job.

I lost my ability to have patience for stupidity.

I stopped thinking the worst all of the time.

I started putting myself first. Okay, I can think of exactly two times that I deliberately put myself first, but for me, that's pretty good!

I was hugely satisfied by crossing two very important things off my "bucket list".

And frustrated by being taken advantage of by someone that I really care about--and who I thought cared about me, too.

I am so embarrassed that I went to Lover's Lane. Tee hee!

Once again, I dreamed about having another baby.

Once again, I did not finish my baby's baby book. And my baby is five.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is ummm...my bladder? It's not something you can see, but I get to see it super-sized every 3 months on the scope and it looks (and behaves) way different than it did last year!

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is the well of fear and strength that I found buried deep down inside of me (probably somewhere under my pancreas?). It's really kept me going through some hard times.

I loved spending time with my little girl.

Why did I spend even two minutes feeling guilty about that one thing?

I should have spent more time doing that one thing.

I regret buying the Timberland boots.

I will never regret buying those Speedo swimsuits and American Girl Doll (and accessories) even though with that money I could have bought well, nothing. Because I wouldn't buy anything else that costs that much. But I suppose I could have paid my student loans for a few months with that money.

I agonized way too much.

I didn't kiss enough.

My in-laws drove me crazy.

Was mom crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was Silver Beach in St. Joseph, Michigan.

I feel so dreamy and relaxed when I write that down.

Why did I go to my in-law's house?

The best thing I did for someone else was go one extra step and stumble outside of my comfort zone for that person's benefit.

The best thing I did for myself was learn how to confidently jump into the deep end of a pool.

The best thing someone did for me was patiently coax me into that first jump into the deep end.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is that night in May.