Four Crazy Sisters

Margaret's Action Items 2012

2012-01-27T18:35:00.003-06:00

Not resolutions nor goals, more along the lines of a serious "to do" list:

buy a bedskirt
write a page-a-day for 30 days straight
publish a novel
buy a new wool winter coat
wear eyeshadow more often
try a recipe for something new
pick a new language to learn (not actually learn it yet)
jog three miles in 30 minutes at least once

The Words of a Child

2012-01-11T18:09:00.000-06:00

Last night, I was digging through a storage bin when I stumbled across a journal I kept as part of the requirements for my high school senior year Honors English class.

I didn't even remember keeping the journal and had to laugh at some of what was in there, especially the sample tabloid article I wrote on Hester Prynne (from The Scarlet Letter) admitting that Satan was the father of her child...and in the next issue, Satan himself would be offering advice on how to fan the flames of passion in relationships.

I feel like Fozzie Bear should be letting loose with a "Wocka, wocka, wocka!"

Crazy.

But among some of the silly assignments were some intriguing words of wisdom and I began one of my journal entries with:

I think that if I knew what conformity would do to me,

I never would have tried it.

I was so intrigued by those words and the insight of the 17 year old girl that I used to be. Sitting here now reading them as an adult, I was sure it must have been a quote that I pulled from somewhere, but I looked on the internet for a match and...nothing.

I keep reading those words over and over..."If I knew what conformity would do to me, I never would have tried it."

So true. So very, very true.

2011 -- Two Legs Walking Straight Out of my Life

2012-01-08T06:33:00.001-06:00

And a brand new year walking in the door.

In 2011, I gained a healthier diet.

I lost a very dear friend who I still think about every day.

I stopped going to New York as much as I used to.

I started thinking more seriously about what I want to do next.

I was hugely satisfied by my personal relationships.

And frustrated by my October Board meeting.

I am so embarrassed that I lost my cool in front of my boss.

Once again, I barely squeezed past the finish line for NaNoWriMo.

Once again, I did not buy a new pair of brown pants. Maybe this year.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is half a missing toenail! (But it’s growing back, thank goodness).

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is I’m less afraid of...well, everything.

I loved spending time in Georgia.

Why did I spend even two minutes wishing he’d love me the same way I loved him?

I should have spent more time lying on the grass outside in the sun.

I regret buying that black pencil skirt without noticing it didn’t have back vents. Who makes a pencil skirt without back vents?!

I will never regret buying my Nine West blush pumps even though with that money I could have bought two months worth of bus/metro fare.

I shopped way too much.

I didn't write letters enough.

Home repairs drove me crazy.

Was the political scandal reporting crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was The Marshall House hotel in Savannah, GA.

I feel so happy when I write that down.

Why did I go to Vermont?

The best thing I did for someone else was help organize their wedding.

The best thing I did for myself was sing along with the radio, driving fast on the back roads with the windows down.

The best thing someone did for me was remind me I can do anything and that “anything” can begin at any time.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is my last dinner with Joe.

Goodbye 2011, I can't say I'll miss you.

2012-01-01T10:42:00.003-06:00

In 2011, I gained a bachelor's degree in elementary education, with a minor in history (and the shit load of debt that came with it).

I lost an old friend.

I stopped trying to gain his approval.

I started looking for a job in the "real world."

I was hugely satisfied by finishing my first NaNo event, especially since I was so far behind. Woot!

And frustrated by the idiocy that I too often deal with at work.

I am so embarrassed that I was caught singing at work.

Once again, I rocked the casbah (and failed at blogging).

Once again, I did not laugh enough.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my guns. LOL.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my hope, or lack thereof.

I loved spending time jumping on the trampoline with two of my three favorite guys.

Why did I spend even two minutes thinking that things could be different?

I should have spent more time in Georgia.

I regret buying the e-reader that I never use. (Maybe this year?)

I will never regret buying that glass tabletop even though with that money I could have bought much needed new clothes.

I cried way too much.

I didn't dream enough.

My work drove me crazy.

Was my schedule crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was the ocean!

I feel so excited when I write that down.

Why did I go to your house that one night?

The best thing I did for someone else was forget him.

The best thing I did for myself was make some new (realistic) and well intentioned goals for the new year.

The best thing someone did for me was tell me that they were proud of me.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is Road trip 2011!

2011 in Review

2011-12-31T23:09:00.003-06:00

In 2011, I gained a new niece!

I lost a storage closet. And it's a problem.

I stopped caring about quite a few things.

I started locking away my thoughts.

I was hugely satisfied by food.

And frustrated by the endless house "to do" list.

I am so embarrassed that I don't cook more often.

Once again, I long for more time at the beach.

Once again, I did not finish NaNoWriMo.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my neck.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my faith in the healthcare system.

I loved spending time alone (it was rare).

Why did I spend even two minutes listening to a wacky lady complain. I should have walked away.

I should have spent more time preparing for the Zombie Apocolypse.

I regret buying the wrong shade of lipstick.

I will never regret buying new dress pants even though with that money I could have bought lots of yoga pants.

I cried way too much.

I didn't sing enough.

Worry drove me crazy.

Was life crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was the beach.

I feel so wistful when I write that down.

Why did I go to Starved Rock when it was 100 degrees outside? It was good, but I was sweaty!

The best thing I did for someone else was schedule some meals to help a friend who is ill.

The best thing I did for myself was start exercising.

The best thing someone did for me was take me to an energy reading.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is make cards.

2012!

2011-12-31T18:33:00.001-06:00

In 2011, I gained a slightly better sense of humor.

I lost respect for a fellow professional who had been a mentor to me.

I stopped worrying quite so much.

I started riding my bike more often.

I was hugely satisfied by my vibrator. LOL! Just kidding! Just now, I'm hugely satisfied by that shock value. Tee hee!

And frustrated by being fooled too many times by someone that I thought was a friend.

I am so embarrassed that I went to a wedding and had too much to drink and then tipsy (not drunk) texted my sister.

Once again, I ate too many cookies.

Once again, I did not get enough sleep.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my eyelashes. I bought Rapid Lash. And it works!

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my reduced willingness to tolerate being used by others.

I loved spending time gardening.

Why did I spend even two minutes looking at a Twitter update from someone I don't even like?

I should have spent more time swimming.

I regret buying two new pairs of running shoes today when I really only needed one.

I will never regret buying expensive, pretty undies and pajamas from Victoria's Secret even though with that money I could have bought groceries for two weeks.

I stressed out way too much.

I didn't daydream enough.

My former mentor drove me crazy.

Was the weather crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was...I don't know. I didn't really have an opportunity to go anywhere.

I feel so disappointed in myself when I write that down.

Why did I go to that one place when I knew that douchebag Joe was going to be there?

The best thing I did for someone else was boost his confidence enough with true validation of his character, that he's finally got some hope for the future.

The best thing I did for myself was agree to the challenge of completing a 5k in a few months.

The best thing someone did for me was challenge me to a 5k.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is a self-care routine that includes sufficient sleep and exercise.

Wish List

2011-12-25T21:19:00.000-06:00

Well, I suppose I could just copy the previously posted lists and that would be pretty accurate, but I'll go ahead and put in some effort and do a real list.

1. A finished basement with ample shelving and storage.
2. The pain in my lower back to disappear and never return.
3. Some kind of financial gain/change that would allow me a little breathing room and less panic about having to take on a 2nd car payment since the hubby's car was totaled and I still have two years of payments left on my car.
4. If I could skip #1 and instead get a ranch style home, approximately 2400 square feet of living space (with a partially finished basement and ample shelving and storage, too), with hard surface flooring throughout and a jacuzzi tub and big walk-in shower in the master bathroom, and in the kitchen--those big, deep sinks and a built in electric double oven and a big island, I would weep with joy.
5. A shoe shopping spree.
6. Clear skin. Please. It's completely unfair that I still get acne when I have wrinkles and it's now even more irritating because I have a white eyebrow hair and a weird hair poking out of my chin. Curse age and hormones!
7. An artist's easel and unlimited canvas and acrylic paint.
8. Maid service for a month.
9. Bad debt paid off.
10. Weekly massages.

Wishful Thinking.....

2011-12-24T12:47:00.003-06:00

Did I forget to add these things to my Christmas list? My bad.

someone to pay off my student loans (duh)
an entirely new wardrobe (including shoes)
clear skin (stealing this one off of sister #1's list)
forever smooth legs (c'mon, no one likes the pokey)
the perfect wave to my hair (oh, yes....)
some CHILL THE FUCK OUT pills (with unlimited refills)

Crazy Christmas Wish List

2011-12-21T18:59:00.002-06:00

If Santa's sleigh was big enough...

a new, clean, adequately shelved storage area
piano (that's always going to be on my list)
clear skin
better running shoes
a just-right, cute pair of everyday-errand-running shoes
time in a bottle (I'd uncork it whenever I needed more time to do something)

Holiday Traditions

2011-12-19T16:29:00.001-06:00

Just like the mystery earring gift, it's time for your "wishful thinking" Christmas list. Let me see it!

Mini-Writing Challenge

2011-12-06T16:19:00.005-06:00

I know everyone is fresh (or stale) off of NaNo, but I have a mini-challenge for you. Whip up a short story using these words:

awkward
clatter
gallant
lukewarm
plentiful
ration
reserve
scholar
smolder
trudge
volunteer
weary

Post it on the writing blog and let's make it a New Year's Eve deadline. C'mon, it'll be easy--these are fourth grade words! Anyone wanting to add to the challenge by throwing a theme out there is free to do so!

Just a Dance

2011-10-12T12:21:00.002-05:00

It's just a dance... it's just a dance. That's what I keep telling myself. It's not like it's prom. But it's still hard to accept that my little girl is heading off to her first school dance Friday night.

Let sleeping doges lie.

2011-09-12T08:45:00.001-05:00

Does anybody actually do that, really?
Because, I swear, sometimes I don't think there's a bone in my body capable of doing that.

Not Forever

2011-09-10T16:11:00.002-05:00

Does anyone (I need, like, 50 people) want to go in with me to buy a roll of 3,000 stamps?

New & Delicious

2011-09-05T08:26:00.002-05:00

The new paint color, paired with the dark wood trim in my front hallway, reminds me of chocolate cake.

Life is so much better with cake!

Blast From The Past: Muppet Babies

2011-08-22T15:43:00.002-05:00

Here's a little something to take us back to childhood. Go on, type a YouTube search! You won't regret it!

Fork

2011-08-21T08:33:00.000-05:00

Saw this today on Post Secret and felt like I could have been the person who sent it. Funny how things never quite work out like I had planned.

I FOUND IT!

2011-08-07T18:03:00.000-05:00

I was convinced I was crazy (shush, I know I'm crazy), because for most of my adolescence and adult life, I've been trying to remember the name of a movie I'd seen on TV when I was a kid. I remember the tag line/whatever it's called when the commercial previews were on..."Mary thinks there's something under the bed. Mary may be right." I remember the scene with the car accident, the part where the brother falls from the roof, when the mom drops the watermelon on the floor, the creepy scene where the girl is rolling a pizza cutter along a banister, the hairdryer (or radio maybe?) when the dad was taking a bath...and the final scene when the mom looks up from her bed to see her creepy dead daughter standing there saying, "Hi Mommy."

SO creepy.

Since my memories of the move were so fragmented, I figured I must have seen it in early elementary school. But today, after looking for something else on the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com), I found out the title was Don't Go to Sleep and it was released in 1982. That means I would have been four.

Do you ever wonder what our parents were thinking, letting us watch stuff like that?

Trolls

2011-08-01T21:09:00.000-05:00

You know how we joke about "linen closet trolls"?

Well, we joke, but we know they're real. Those little bastards mess up the linen closet right after it's been all organized, am I right? They hide stuff, move towels, unwrap toilet paper. They like to mess with our heads.

Linen closet trolls apparently have jackass relatives that live in my freezer.

They did not mess up my freezer.

They opened the freezer door and left it open.

I know they were all like, "Heya b-yotch. We think it's kick-ass that you did a bunch of grocery shopping and put all the stuff you were going to cook in the next 7-10 days in the freezer above the fridge instead of the big ass deep freezer. We're cramped in here now. So...screw you, lady. We're gonna kick the door open and make some room for our badass selves."

And they did. I came home from work to a soupy, soppy mess on the kitchen floor. The freezer was open about an inch, just enough that in 7 hours, almost everything melted into slimy pools.

It was not the best part of my day. No, the best part was when I slipped in the soupy, soppy mess and slammed my chin into the refrigerator handle. That was the best part of my day.

The only saving grace is that most of the meat was toward the back, so even though it had thawed, at least it was still cold.

So...I spent the evening cooking a dozen chicken breasts, figuring out how many different ways to make pork, sauteing 36 pierogis and I forget what else.

Looks like I have no excuses for not packing a lunch for work this week. Lots of leftovers to choose from. (sigh...)

True Story

2011-07-27T08:38:00.001-05:00

I know where you can find four of these.

Eyebrow Artist

2011-06-25T22:19:00.001-05:00

Yes--actual title on the business card. My brows are proof that the lady has earned it :)

Outside My Window

2011-05-19T22:23:00.000-05:00

This afternoon, I glanced out my office window and saw something amazingly funny and disturbing.

Down at the stoplight, there was a middle-aged man on a mo-ped waiting to turn. He was wearing tube socks and sandals. And boxers. And a coconut bra.

I didn't want to look, but I couldn't look away, either. (Shiver) So strange.

Nice-to-Death

2011-05-13T23:50:00.003-05:00

What is the best way to nice-to-death someone who regularly interacts with you, but doesn't know you very well, after they are mean to you (and you are really pissed because it was your birthday--whether they knew it or not is besides the point) ?

Mastercard Moment

2011-05-07T08:53:00.001-05:00

Priceless...

Star Wars Day

2011-05-03T20:44:00.001-05:00

Today is May 3rd. That means tomorrow is May 4th. Star Wars Day.

May the Fourth be with you!!

I could use some "Force" in my life right now.

Looking...

2011-05-01T13:55:00.002-05:00

I could use a few suggestions on something new to try...a one-time attempt at something, a new hobby, new activity, new something.

I've been in a rut. Juggling my crazy schedule tends to result in that--I get so caught up in the daily tasks that I forget about enjoying myself. I'm so restless. I want to travel but feel like my finances don't allow for that right now, so it's on a back burner. I've neglected my friendships and as the years go by, it's funny how much I notice the "difference" in being the first one in my circle of friends to marry and have a baby. And not to have anymore babies. Friendships change over time, you know?

Wow...that was whiny. I don't mean to be whiny. I just need some help in thinking outside of the proverbial box.

There's usually some comfort in reading and cooking, but I'm finding that to be more irritating than soothing these days. Other ideas? Something not too time-intensive since I usually work about 60 hours a week and then have to catch up on cleaning and laundry on the weekends.

Profile

2011-04-24T08:51:00.002-05:00

The hubs and I were joking a while back that we should each join a dating website and see if our profiles would lead us to being linked with each other.

We concluded that there wasn't a chance in hell we would be deemed compatible.

Almost 10 years married must mean that there's something (I think?) that keeps us together, but I started laughing, thinking about what I would put in my profile. I mean, what would I say about myself that would be meaningful, yet still paint a picture of who I really am?

I'm the offspring of MacGyver and Martha Stewart. I'm pretty optimistic, but enough of a realist that I recognize bad things sometimes happen. Laughing is one of my favorite activities and I'd like to do more of it. I'm dependable and loyal to my family and friends and will take out anyone who tries to hurt them. I have a great sense of humor, but it can be pretty dry and sarcastic. People are comfortable talking to me and I'm a great listener--so great, that I get paid to listen to people talk about their problems. I've been described by one of my closest friends as the "unusually unusual girl next door." I really enjoy reading and cooking and adore long walks on the beach...alone. I like things clean and orderly and prefer the scent of original Windex (who came up with that Crystal Rain crap?) and either lemon or outdoor fresh allergen-reducer Pledge. I've been in a long, happy and monogamous 3-way relationship with my Shark Steam Mop and my Oreck vacuum cleaner. We're a package deal.

You know who would want to date me? Danny Tanner from Full House. That would be the only response I would get.

What do you mean it's not 1954?

2011-04-13T23:27:00.002-05:00

Several weeks ago, I bought the cutest pale yellow skirt on the planet. I've been really into yellows lately and this just screamed "summer" and "soda shop" and "sock hop" and other words that start with 's' that are spectacular (yes, chose that word on purpose).

You know how, when you buy things online though, they're not always what you think they'll be like? Well, that's sort of the way it happened with this skirt in that it wasn't as full as it looked in the pictures. I had it hemmed a bit by my local tailor (yes, I have a local tailor, located right next store to my local handyman!) and that helped give it a bit of pep, but I knew it needed something else.

But what?

So of course I emailed Sister #1 and was like, "Do people still buy petticoats? If so, where do I get one?"

There are really only two answers to the question of where to find a petticoat: 1) the internet or 2) your local seamstress. And unfortunately, my local tailor is not quite a seamstress, so we had to go with option 1.

Has anyone else noticed lately that the internet is an abyss? Because it is. And shopping for a petticoat online is possibly one of the most difficult things I've done with the internet. It didn't help that I know literally NOTHING about petticoats. Like what one is supposed to look like. How are you supposed to tell pictures apart? Also, the internet is full of costume petticoats. But I didn't want a costume petticoat, I wanted something a normal person could wear every day, or at least something that I could wear every day.

Internet, let me save you a lot of trouble on this one. Go straight to Etsy.com. I'm probably an idiot for not thinking of it in the first place.

BAM! Petticoat paradise. Not only that, but so much clarity on the differences between petticoats, pettiskirts, pettislips, you can pretty much put "petti" in front of anything and buy it on Etsy. Aaaaaaa-mazing.

A mere two weeks after I began this adventure, I have a lovely, custom-made pettislip (less oompf than the petticoat and perfect for an already pleated skirt like this one). I bought it in traditional white, but there are a gazillion (or 13...more like 13) colors available, as well as choices of materials (I went all organdy). And now I can rock the 1950s like Ike's still president.

Holla to the fallout sheltah!

Funny

2011-04-12T10:16:00.000-05:00

Give me your 10 best synonyms for: laugh.

Go!

Are Flat Sheets Fancy?

2011-03-30T23:20:00.003-05:00

Don't people use flat sheets when making up their beds? I mean, sheet sets still come with a fitted sheet, flat sheet, and pillow cases, right? We always had a flat sheet and then a blanket on our beds when we were little. I make my beds with the flat sheet. In fact, on my bed there's a flat sheet, blanket, another flat sheet, and then the comforter on top. That might be considered fancy, but not if it was just the first flat sheet.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because we had a young houseguest last week who was completely baffled by the flat sheet when I made up the (air mattress) bed for her. She had no idea what it was. And I remember a long time ago someone mentioning the fanciness of the extra sheet on my bed. What? Do people eat the extra sheet that comes in the set? Why do they think it's fancy?

I think it would be strange to not have one. What do you think?

Once Upon a Time...

2011-03-27T18:59:00.003-05:00

Have you ever thought about that phrase? "Once upon a time..." What a mental image. I picture myself, a little girl, riding on the back of a comet--a clock in the shape of a comet--streaking through a midnight sky. Up on a time. Up on a time of hopes and dreams. Up on a time that hummed with the electricity of a future yet unrealized. Up on a time. Where fantasy and reality collided and left a blurry line that was easily crossed. Once...up on a time. Once upon a time.

Click...

2011-03-15T20:08:00.002-05:00

I heard a sound earlier today. A click. It wasn't particularly loud, but it was audible...noticeable...it definitely caught my attention. My first thought, in a moment of panic, is that yet another thing is going wrong with this house. What is it this time? More plumbing issues? The sump pump? Another mouse? Wait, let me guess, the furnace?

No. None of the above.

As I sat in the silence, listening carefully for the sound to repeat itself, I was hit in the head. Was it the ceiling? No. Had you going for a second there, right? Hee hee. Better not jinx myself!

It occurred to me that the distinct click I heard was the sound of a door closing. I suspect it was the door standing between me and my dreams. And perhaps the daily pressure around here finally forced it shut. That's not to say I won't be able to pry it open again later, but for now, it's vacuum-sealed, dreams squished tight in a space bag, packed away somewhere. At least I know they're still there. They're just out of sight and out of reach at the moment.

Not so many years ago, I was convinced that I could do whatever I wanted to do, be whoever I wanted to be, go wherever I wanted to go. But at the end of the day, when faced with responsibilities and uncertainties, those dreams get folded up neatly and put away, in favor of the reality that surrounds me. I'm not comfortable with uncertainty, but it's part of my vocabulary these days. If the present is uncertain, well, certainly then the future is uncertain, too.

Things have a funny way of working out--they always do, don't they? I'd just like for them to work out now. Sooner rather than later. Now. I'm looking for some instant gratification. For a good job to land in the hubby's lap or for us to find an eager buyer for our house. Of course, first a good job has to come along. And we don't have the "For Sale" sign in the yard yet. Maybe both will happen. Maybe neither will. Maybe a big surprise--preferably a good surprise, since I don't really like surprises--something to bring good fortune to the crazy, tired people living under this roof.

Perhaps a lottery ticket is in order this week.

Checking In

2011-02-24T20:05:00.002-06:00

I've taken a look at how I'm doing with my goals for 2011.

Go to 3 concerts. One down, two to go.
Blog weekly. Eh, not great, but better than I was last year.
Orthopedist--my primary doctor isn't back from maternity leave yet, so I haven't bothered to call for a referral for my knee. Admittedly, that's a poor excuse.
Reading one book per month--I've been averaging 2-3 and I'm loving it.
Taking more pictures. Um, I get an F- on that one.
Pay off a credit card. Not yet, but working hard on getting there.
Spending more time outside. The blizzard interrupted my plans a bit, but I've at least been making a point of getting out of my office during the day, which is progress for me.

That's about it. Considering it's not quite March yet, I'm feeling pretty good. I've still got plenty of time to catch up on a few and even exceed a few. Nice!

Stop--!Thief!

2011-02-13T10:20:00.005-06:00

Except....except the first thief stole the info days, or even weeks, ago. And the next thief used my credit, while my card was still in my wallet, to buy some big ticket items before the account could be shut down (just eleven hours later)(They cause the most damage within minutes. Yes, minutes.)!

Now I get to join the growing ranks of credit fraud victims.

Plus, I have the nasty task of checking my credit report more frequently to make sure nothing more sinister happens. And being an anxiety-ridden mess. My only comfort is that it was a credit card, not a debit card.

So, my darlings, 1)don't used your debit card with pin number to pay for stuff, 2)try not to let your credit card out of your sight (restaurants), and 3)pay close attention to that person on their cell phone only buying one thing and standing too close behind you at the store.

Now it's time for a freaking BIG piece of cake.

V-Day Stuff

2011-02-11T21:28:00.002-06:00

I think this sums up my feelings about Valentine's Day...

I always kind of joke that under this old wreck of femininity, there beats the heart of a true romantic. Really. It's true!

In the course of my marriage, we have never done anything to celebrate Valentine's Day. When we were dating, we went to a concert once, but no more after that. It was the first year we were dating and he said he didn't plan on doing anything for V-Day in the future. Hubs doesn't believe in it--not one bit. We stopped celebrating our wedding anniversary several years ago (long story), but silly romantic that I am, I was hoping to pick another day to celebrate our relationship. Since Valentine's Day is the designated day of love, I thought it would be nice (especially since he had already refused Sweetest Day). Last year, in a desperate gesture on my part, I asked if we could please do something to celebrate and I was so surprised when he agreed! But somehow, that translated into the hubs hosting two poker parties that weekend and me doing the cooking and cleaning for it. Looking back on it, it's funny, and I suppose that says a lot about our relationship--finding humor in the not-so-humorous.

In any case, I've decided that this year, rather than mope about the lack of celebration of love, I will instead focus my energies on celebrating my love of motherhood. The kiddo gets out of school early on Monday and she and I will go have a fun mommy-daughter afternoon together, followed by a heart-shaped cake and pink candy-covered cookies.

Because if Valentine's Day is about celebrating love and celebrating us, then at least for me, this is definitely a love worth celebrating!

Newest Family Member

2011-02-09T12:14:00.004-06:00

The kids convinced Robin to adopt an anole from the science lab at school. They can't decide what to name him (I want to call him Fred Jr., or Freddy J). Would you like to throw some name ideas out there?

Chilly Willy

2011-02-08T21:34:00.002-06:00

Do you remember Chilly Willy the Penguin? He had his own theme song...something along the lines of "I'm Chilly Willy the Penguin...I'm frozen through and through! My head is cold and my tail is blue...ha, hee, ha choo!"

Actually, because I'm a big geek, I just went on Y0u Tube to look for it and my words are a little off, but whatever.

My point is that it is freakin' COLD outside. I like winter, but this is ridiculous. Between the snow and the bitter cold, I'm feeling like I'm ready for May. Wait...didn't Phil predict an early spring this year? I hope so.

Despite the cold, there's still some magic in the air. Something about being outside when the earth is blanketed in white...a sharp, clear sky overhead with stars twinkling, just waiting to make someone's wishes come true...my warm breath misting in clouds around my face...inhaling the cold air in a whoosh and feeling it fill every crevice in my lungs...clearing my mind...those are the best parts of winter.

Well, that and laying under four blankets, all snug and warm.

Rat

2011-02-02T17:17:00.002-06:00

Who knew that a single comment about a rat during the workday would generate so much interest? Huh.

So...the rat.

First, I should tell you that several years ago, the building I work in was being remodeled and a lot of interior work was needed. When the basement ceiling right outside of my office was ripped out, a dead rat fell on the floor. Right in front of me. Eeeeww. It was all dark gray and ratty and nasty. Yuck.

But most recently, there was an episode of a rat in a cabinet. (Not in my building, but at another location.)

Staff was looking in a cabinet and shrieked, "Rat!" My thought was, field mouse? Not a rat, right? The large gray blob at first looked like a giant piece of steel wool. Or maybe a dust bunny. A dust bunny from the most terrifying pits of hell. But dust bunnies and steel wool don't move on their own accord. Nor do they move with purpose toward a loaf of bread.

Um. Rat. Rat? RAT!

Surviving February

2011-02-01T11:04:00.001-06:00

What would you put in a handbook with that title? Because, really, I hate February and need to put together a survival guide.

Rough Week, Take 2

2011-01-24T10:05:00.002-06:00

I thought last week was bad with one sick little guy.

Today, I have two little ones home sick. Mystery fevers, please go away.

Lights...Camera...

2011-01-22T20:01:00.002-06:00

ACTION!

Just a random thought...if actions speak louder than words, what have your actions said today?

I see the actions of people all day long, every single day. Promises and words mean nothing if not backed up by action. Words are just words. It's what we DO that proves if our word is worth anything.

A big part of my job involves communicating and interpreting what other people say (or rather, what they aren't saying). I have to guess what's going on in their heads, try to understand what it is exactly that they're trying to tell me, dig deeper to get past the surface of what they're saying. In my daily life with friends and co-workers, I expect them to tell me if something is wrong. But for whatever reason, some people have a hard time explaining if something is bothering them, so they resort to things like silent treatment, tantrums, sarcasm, etc.

I don't have a hard time explaining if something is bothering me, but it may take while for me to get around to saying it, because I have a thing about wanting to make sure I'm saying it right.

By nature, I am a sarcastic person. I suppose the one saving grace in that area is that I'll make a sarcastic comment and then clarify what I meant by it. Sarcasm is not a characteristic that I like in myself, so I make a point of catching it and correcting it. Hence, clarifying my sarcasm.

But silent treatment? I've been accused of giving the silent treatment. I don't mean to. What's really going on is that I'm angry or upset and I don't trust myself to say something productive, so I opt not to say anything at all. My silence isn't intended to be a punishment or to make people guess what's wrong with me. I'm the type of person who prefers to be clear and articulate, so it may take me a while to formulate what it is that I want to say...and I tend to be quieter than usual while I'm thinking about it. If someone asks what's wrong, I'm being honest when I say, "Nothing," because truly, nothing is wrong. I'm just thinking. And at that moment, I have nothing to say.

That's backfired on me many times. People will push and push, asking me what's wrong until I feel myself getting mad at the incessant questioning and then there IS something wrong. :)

Unfortunately, I've also been accused of "ambushing", because by the time I've decided what I feel like I need to say, my words are clear and concise and to the point. I've learned that that it freaks people out, because they're unprepared. I've been accused of stewing too long...except I'm not! I'm not playing stuff over and over in my head and getting angrier about it. I'm just thinking about how to explain what upset me or bothered me.

One of the benefits about not going off about something right away is that after careful consideration, more often than not, I determine that there's nothing worth saying about it anyway, which avoids a lot of hurt feelings in the long run.

But today was one of those days--one of those days where I needed to carefully weigh the words I wanted to use to express myself. I was super frustrated this morning with the hubs. Rather than be a Negative Nelly or have a useless fit, I just kept quiet and contemplated what to say, so that later, I could easily explain what had upset me. I was quiet a good portion of the day, but back to the original thing I'm writing about...my actions spoke far louder than anything I could have said or anything I will say.

Fact: I was quite upset this morning that the hubs slept until almost 10am. This is a minor thing and I understand that. However, I am awake and on the go before him every single day and more often than not, I fall asleep after him. He went out last night with his friends, which is fine. I was awake until he got home. I did fall asleep before he came to bed, so yes, I was asleep before him. I woke up at 6:45am--which is actually pretty late for me. I worked on a few things for school, then the kiddo got up around 7:30am. She woke up her dad, but he was a little grumpy. He stayed awake for about 15 minutes, then said, "I'm just going to lay back down for a few minutes since I'm still tired." I raised my eyebrows at him, but he was already crawling back into bed.

I headed downstairs with my kiddo, made breakfast, started a load of laundry, folded 2 loads of laundry the hubs left sitting on the couch, emptied the dishwasher and re-loaded it, switched the washer load to the dryer, started another load, handled a crisis call for work, cleaned up from breakfast and then went through the week's worth of mail on the kitchen table. My actions clearly said that I recognized that there were things that needed to be done, and I was getting down to the business of doing them. It's not a "ha-ha-look-what-I-got-done" action. It's genuinely, "Well, this stuff needs to get done, so I'm going to do it." I will admit that I was louder than necessary in completing the tasks--that action said, "Hey, I'm awake down here and doing stuff you said you were going to do!" Not that it mattered. He slept through the noise, so I just felt stupid. When the hubs sauntered downstairs right before 10am and made a passing comment about still being tired as I handed him a plate of his favorite breakfast (chocolate chip pancakes), I immediately felt the burn of resentment in my chest.

He. Is. Tired?

I'm not saying it's fair to hold him to my standards. I know that's not fair and I don't expect him to live the way I do--I don't expect that of anyone. My frustration is that I'm tired, too. However, I cannot think of a single time the entire time we've been married (other than when I've had surgery and was sleeping off anesthesia) that I got more sleep than he did, and most especially not in the past year and a half that he's been out of work. On the exceptionally rare occasions that I even have an opportunity go out with a friend, if I get home at midnight, I'm still expected to get up at my regular time and get the day rolling. I don't know if it's a gender thing, or a mom thing, or a personality thing or a MacStewart thing. It just is what it is.

The day passed by pretty fast--there was a lot to do and before I knew it, it was dinner time. What were my actions then? Hubs had mentioned last weekend that he'd like to have taco salad since it had been a while since I'd last made it. So, I ran out to the store to get a few things, then proceeded to come home and make taco salad for him. I also put together a blueberry coffee-cake thingy that I thought he would like. My actions, at least I think, say that I know what he likes and I want him to be happy, so I'm going to do it. It doesn't matter if I'm tired. I know what my priorities are and that's what I'll focus on.

And right now, my priority is finishing up the next load of laundry and well, that's what I'm going to focus on for the next hour. So off I go!

Easy Day

2011-01-16T14:23:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting here on this gloriously chilly Sunday, reveling in the fact that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I've had a lazy day, not doing much of anything, and the kiddo is keeping me entertained with her '80s inspired outfit--black leggings with a white/turquoise/hot pink shirt, hair in braids, bangs sticking up, with a purple sweatband around her forehead. Nice!

Last night, the hubs had a few friends over to play cards. One of the guys was celebrating a birthday, so I made cake. Yay for cake! The birthday boy brought me a bottle of chocolate wine for my birthday--and it was SO good. I have the headache today to prove it. :) Actually, the headache is from not wearing my mouthguard last night--I have so much pain in my jaw and my temples from grinding my teeth. Ouch.

I wrote my letters during National Letter Writing Week--I actually got two in the mail, wrote a third one that I decided against mailing, and a fourth one that I couldn't seem to finish. That fourth one...it's full of a lot of stuff that I want to tell someone, but deep down, I know it'll never get mailed. That's why I haven't finished it.

That's it for me. Off to enjoy the rest of my day.

Writing Challenge

2011-01-09T20:12:00.002-06:00

The week of January 9, 2011 is National Letter Writing Week. The old-fashioned snail mail type of letter. I challenge you to write at least two letters this week. I don't know if there will be a prize yet, but please just check-in with a comment at the end of the week to let me know how you fared!

Flashback

2011-01-07T18:47:00.005-06:00

Do you remember this song? Fleetwood Mac. Silver Springs.

This song has always haunted me. As I've gotten older, it only haunts me more. There's something about it...something.

You could be my silver spring
blue green colors flashing
I would be your only dream
your shining autumn ocean crashing

Sadness for the loss of what was. Hope for what could have been. Maybe what should have been.

And did you say she was pretty?
And did you say that she loves you?
Baby, I don't wanna know

A raw ache, somewhere deep inside, knowing that it will never be again. Maybe it never was.

I'll begin not to love you
turn around, see me running
I say I loved you years ago
tell myself you never loved me

Trying to turn off those feelings. Hiding. Begging for relief. Hurting more instead of hurting less.

And did you say she was pretty?
And did you say that she loves you?
Baby, I don't wanna know

Not knowing what went wrong, but knowing it could never work. Never.

And can you tell me was it worth it
really, I don't wanna know

How do I get that time back? What if I don't want it back? What if I could have given that time to someone else?

Time cast its spell on you
but you won't forget me
I know I could've loved you
but you would not let me

Why wouldn't you let me love you?

Time cast its spell on you
but you won't forget me
I know I could've loved you
but you would not let me

I need to let go of you. I need you to let go of me so I can move on.

I'll follow you down til the sound
of my voice will haunt you
you'll never get away from the
sound of the woman that loves you

You're always in me, in a corner of my mind. A corner of my heart. Tucked away with the best and worst of me. Do I live in you the same way?

Was I just a fool?

Why did I love you?

You'll never get away from the sound
of the woman that loves you

Was I just a fool?

I'll follow you down til the sound
of my voice will haunt you

Give me just a chance

One more chance...

You'll never get away

You could be my silver spring
my blue green colors flashing

Knock, Knock. Who's There? 2011. 2011 Who?

2011-01-05T21:08:00.004-06:00

Where did the last year go?

In 2010, I gained some pretty amazing pairs of shoes.

I lost an enormous length from my hair.

I stopped exercising. Again.

I started praying more.

I was hugely satisfied by my answered prayers.

And frustrated by my lack of closet space in this house.

I am so embarrassed that I slacked on writing.

Once again, I wished summer wouldn't end.

Once again, I did not organize my photos. When the heck am I going to do that?

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is at least twelve inches of hair.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is my belief in the Force.

I loved spending time with my sisters! Spa day!

Why did I spend even two minutes thinking the Mayhems would behave?

I should have spent more time outdoors.

I regret buying um...no regrets that I can recall.

I will never regret buying those adorable shoes that took forever to get because the devil sent me a coat instead even though with that money I could have bought an entire outfit (minus shoes).

I worried way too much.

I didn't clap enough.

The weather drove me crazy.

Was the wind crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was Tybee Island. And the spa. It's a tie.

I feel so refreshed when I write that down.

Why did I go to the bookstore? That place is dangerous!

The best thing I did for someone else was find super cheap airfare to D.C. so she could see her brother and be with him an extra day and a half.

The best thing I did for myself was go to D.C. with my friend, and find my reservoir of faith.

The best thing someone did for me was give me a spa day with my sisters! Thanks honey!

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is create and stick to a (daily) writing schedule.

This Old Goat: 2011 Overview

2011-01-03T09:01:00.001-06:00

Overview
'Change' is your middle name at this point, Capricorn. You've been through more personal transformation in the past two years than perhaps in your entire life. The upside is that you're getting used to the intensity of it all. It helps that you're realizing the futility in holding on to people and possessions that only stunt your growth. So many layers continue to be shed on a daily basis but this also gives way to unquestionable personal power. Pluto in Capricorn will carry on for another 14 years; so if this is just the tip of the iceberg, imagine who you will be on the other side of your metamorphosis.

This year the focus shifts from a lifestyle focused on gadgets, information and social networking to introspection, home and family. You are about to encounter your most uncensored raw self on levels as of yet unprecedented. Ready yourself, Goat, because this spring an explosion of fiery planets in Aries sweeps the very base of your horoscope getting you back in touch with some of your most primal instincts. Competition, aggression and the need for plenty of physical outlets ensue.

Some long-standing money issues are finally coming to a finish as the planet of illusion and delusion gets ready to move on to your communication sector. You've learned to use your discrimination in choosing where to invest and where to spend. For the next 14 years, instead of worrying about money leakages you'll be working on mindfulness to avoid spacing out. In any case, your way with words is apt to become poetic and inspired, which can only make the world appear infinitely more beautiful.

Romantic
The paradox of being absolutely self-centered in order to give more to your relationships has never held more wisdom for you than in 2011. The planetary emphasis is bringing you home to self. It's all about greater self-awareness and not sacrificing your own needs in order to play the role of the perfect, responsible caretaker. Those codependent days are past. Saturn is teaching you how to regain the balance, while the major showcase of planets in the constellation of Aries this spring is a reminder to listen to your instincts and stay true to number one. Your fears of appearing selfish must be eradicated during this crucial time of selfhood. Each individual is being asked to take personal responsibility for generating their own self-love and happiness. Be the change you want to see in your love life, Capricorn.

Jupiter, the beloved planet of good fortune, enters your romance sector this summer bringing love and pleasure in plenty. Expect a windfall of romantic interludes to make this a gorgeous summer to remember. Sensual pleasures abound. Take a risk, wear your heart on your sleeve and expand your vision of what you never thought was possible in love.

The presence of Pluto in your sign reminds on a daily basis that you cannot compromise passion for safety. Intensity, deep intimacy and a true meeting of souls are the base minimum requirements for you to give your heart away. No longer will you compromise or go for shallow substitutes. When Venus enters your stars in late November through most of December, you'll be feeling the love. It doesn't hurt that you're at your most beautiful just in time for your birthday.

Career
With your ruling planet Saturn continuing his exalted trip through the sign of Libra, your career continues to take precedence over almost anything. That is until a grand monopoly of Aries planets moves into your domestic sector between March and May. Balancing home and career becomes a dire-albeit-difficult necessity. But if anyone can find the time to do it all it's you, Capricorn. Time management has never been more crucial in preventing anything from slipping through the cracks. There is just so much going on at such an alarming speed that even you -- one of the most grounded and head-strong signs of the zodiac -- could suffer from an oversight or two.

With the Lunar Nodes landing in your work and goals sector in 2011, even the most seemingly menial of tasks will take on a fated quality. What you produce, practice and put out into the world will have reverberating consequences for the next 13 or so years so be sure that you only put out work that is top-notch (as if you could ever live with anything less). June and July are by far your absolute busiest work months, so be sure to keep other commitments to a minimum as much as possible. Late September-early October offer the best opportunities to get recognized for your efforts. With the monopoly of planets in Aries pushing you to put yourself out on a limb despite Saturn's usual reserve, risk-taking is infinitely rewarded in 2011. Go for it!

2011 Overview for Virgo

2011-01-02T19:07:00.003-06:00

This is for me and Sister #4. I'm also posting the overview for Leo though, since I was born on a cusp. I have to say, the romance section in the extended version though kind of gave me anxiety hives. FOURTEEN YEARS?! Something is going to happen this year that will impact me for the next FOURTEEN? All I have to say is that it better not have a 40 week incubation period. (I'm looking at you, #4).

Overview: VIRGO

2011 is all about showing Virgo the money. Being the bona fide workaholic of the zodiac, you have certainly earned your right to demand the six figures through long hours and heaps of your own blood, sweat and tears over the past several years. And you've certainly suffered enough losses and endured enough tests of faith in the financial department to prove your substance. As much as you get off on the occasional masochistic work jag, you can't help but wonder when things are going to get easier. Well hang tight Virgin, because the bonus you so desperately need and deserve should arrive between March and June of 2011. A major conglomeration of fiery planets activates your sector of other people's money, including the luckiest planet of them all -- Jupiter. If that doesn't bring some kind of windfall, loan or access to a serious line of credit you're going about your business all kinds of wrong.

You're also getting ready to shed some serious skin starting this March. With Uranus, the change god joining forces with Jupiter in your sector of psychological change: you're preparing to face some serious skeletons in your psychic closet. Rather than applying your brilliant yet critical mind in assessing other people's shortcomings, you're ready to confront your own strengths and weaknesses on a new level. This year favors the clean slate approach to all matters of self-help, renewal and transformation of your personality. You're leaving many aspects of your old self behind in order to become a better and more authentic version of who you really are.

Overview: LEO

This is the year of expanding your mental and physical horizons, Leo. Expect loads of travel and awesome adventure in 2011, especially between March and June when a barrage of planets enter fellow fire sign, Aries, sparking your sector of foreign travel and higher education. You'll be pondering some of the deeper existential questions like the meaning of life, who you are and why you're here on a daily basis. Nothing is taken for granted, as life becomes one giant college campus dishing out one lesson after another. An overwhelming desire to see the world, experiment with new philosophies and indulge in scholarly pursuits become potent themes for the course of this dynamic New Year!

Mental pursuits of all stripe dominant your time and attention for another year as Saturn continues his residence in your communication sector. Finding your true voice becomes a spiritual practice. Expressing yourself through carefully cultivated word choice proves especially rewarding. If you've ever wanted to write a book, learn a new language, go back to school or take up some radical new course of study, 2011 is your year to take the risk and make your literary dreams come true.

Pluto continues working you to the bone in 2011 through the extended transit in your work and health sector. You're beginning to actually get accustomed to the emotional gutting as the Lord of the Underworld dredges up each and every repressed emotional issue you've ever had with authority figures. You're coming into your own power the hard way -- but this is the kind of self-possession and confidence that becomes an integral part of your being and thus can never be taken from you.

Happy "Well, I Guess Let's Do This Over Again And Hope It Goes Better Than Last Time" New Year

2011-01-02T18:25:00.006-06:00

I am, in general, opposed to odd-numbered years (stop me if you've heard this before), but I am often comforted by the fact that the majority of odd-numbered years are spent being an even-numbered age, and then when I am an odd-numbered age (also quite despised by me), I have the luxury of being in an even-numbered year. Funny how life works out like that sometimes. Anyway, one of my friends commented that 2011 "definitely has two legs." I have no idea what that means, but I'm taking it as good omen and hope you will, too.

In 2010, I gained some amazing new friends.

I lost a $20 bill in the wind one day. Who does that?

I stopped returning phone calls. I just hate the phone so much.

I started wearing I Spy again.

I was hugely satisfied by finishing another novel.

And frustrated by my indecision about what I want to do next with my life. The possibilities seem too endless.

I am so embarrassed that I handled it so poorly when someone had a crush on me that I did not return. I felt like I was thirteen again! And not in a good way!

Once again, I re-caulked my bathroom. I am a caulking machine.

Once again, I did not get rid of my extra bed frame. I KNOW.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is a new wrinkle between my eyebrows. I've named it Lucille. Honestly, I don't mind having her around.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is how I think of Mat. Or rather, how I don't.

I loved spending time getting pampered with my sisters, compliments of Sister #1's husband.

Why did I spend even two minutes being annoyed at one of my friends, when dropping her from my life turned out to be the easiest thing in the world?

I should have spent more time drinking sweet tea. (What? It's delicious).

I regret buying that sweater from Banana Republic that tragically got torn to shreds just a few months later. It just wasn't fair!

I will never regret buying that little red dress even though with that money I could have bought lunch for a month.

I lied way too much.

I didn't call Ryan enough.

My job and the animal farm that comes with it drove me crazy.

Was the weather crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was Trout Creek.

I feel so inspired when I write that down.

Why did I go to the eye doctor so much? Oh yeah, because my eyes were threatening to melt out of my skull. Stupid eyes.

The best thing I did for someone else was help make their wedding perfect.

The best thing I did for myself was drive seven hours roundtrip to Athens, Georgia.

The best thing someone did for me was send me the most heatfelt birthday wishes I've ever received.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is welcome Nate home.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T14:18:00.003-06:00

I found this survey harder than usual to complete, but here it is!

In 2010, I gained a bouncing baby boy (puppy).

I lost my iPod for two weeks, but then it was found (thank god)!

I stopped thinking that I could change myself for him.

I started putting together the pieces (no, not of my puzzle, that’s still to be completed).

I was hugely satisfied by finishing off my last “real” semester of college.

And frustrated by his inability to make a decision.

I am so embarrassed that I cried in front of him.

Once again, I stayed up waaayy to late.

Once again, I did not keep up on posting on my blog. Or the sister blog. (This year? ….Maybe?)

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is that I am currently a brunette.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is that I’m making the shift from a student attitude to a teacher attitude!

I loved spending time at the World’s Fastest Pop Machine.

Why did I spend even two minutes thinking that I had made the wrong choice?

I should have spent more time reading.

I regret buying that leather jacket.

I will never regret buying the leather bound sketchbook even though with that money I could have bought several regular sketchbooks or more useful artsy material.

I was sick way too much.

I didn't dance enough.

My love life drove me crazy.

Was work crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was the conservatory.

I feel so at ease when I write that down.

Why did I go to Gustos that one night?

The best thing I did for someone else was put my bias opinions aside to help that person through a rough patch.

The best thing I did for myself was leave town for my spring break.

The best thing someone did for me was tell me they loved me…. even if it was at an inopportune moment.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is our warm drinking night from May.

Looking Ahead...2011 Overview for Taurus

2011-01-01T07:16:00.001-06:00

Compliments of astrology.com

Year 2011 Overview
Your legendary tenacity and patience is truly about to pay off in spades this year Taurus. After a long and arduous 12 years, your luck is returning with a fabulous vengeance. Jupiter, the planet of large-scale fortune enters your sturdy stars this June for an extended stint taking you right into 2012 in excellent standing. Never has it felt so easy to let go of comfort zones and move into unknown territory with such confidence and gusto. Even the most cautious and conservative of bulls can easily see that the rewards far outweigh the risk this year. Push the envelope, raise the bar and go for the biggest stakes your loyal heart can fathom.
You're a florid channel of original ideas this spring when six planets line up in your unconscious sector of dreams and inspiration right around your birthday. Ready yourself for what becomes a turbo-charged imagination to keep you up at night with more genius schemes than there is time to humanly handle. Your brain will feel like a non-stop idea factory that refuses to rest, so you'll need extra time in nature or at the gym to remain relatively grounded.
Unexpected social encounters and fabulous new friendships flourish throughout the year with special highlights occurring in March and April when Mars powers up your friendship sector. May and June are stellar months for dating and mating with all around good times to be had in general compliments of Venus in Taurus. You've got your mind on your money and your money on your mind all summer with Venus and Mars emphasizing your financial sector. Make your money in June and July while the getting is good and save the leisure rewards for August when you can kick back guilt-free.

Resolutions

2010-12-31T15:35:00.002-06:00

I hate New Year's resolutions. Despise them. But that doesn't stop me from making a few every year. This year, I'm keeping them small...

I will go to at least 3 concerts, even if I have to go by myself.
I will make an effort to post on my blog and the sister blog at least weekly.
I will get a referral for an orthopedist to see what it's going to take to fix my knee.
I will read at least one book per month. This is crucial. I tend to go long periods of time without reading and then try to cram in a bunch of books when I'm not busy. But I LIKE reading and I want to do more of it...so, it's on my list.
I will take more pictures.
I will pay off one credit card.
I will spend more time outside. :)

That's it. Any resolutions for you, dear sisters?

After-Christmas Wish List

2010-12-29T12:33:00.003-06:00

Oops! I meant to put this up Christmas Eve, but here is my fantasy wish list:

a piano
a magically expanding house for entertaining that contracts back to normal afterwards
a one year fast-track pass for ER services at my local hospital
an (affordable) Alice
more date nights
a complete new wardrobe
real peace--the world would be beyond amazing with it

Not Quite 2011 Yet, But...

2010-12-28T18:39:00.004-06:00

It's time to cut 2010 with a knife and steal its lunch money!

In 2010, I gained a new job.

I lost my ability to have patience for stupidity.

I stopped thinking the worst all of the time.

I started putting myself first. Okay, I can think of exactly two times that I deliberately put myself first, but for me, that's pretty good!

I was hugely satisfied by crossing two very important things off my "bucket list".

And frustrated by being taken advantage of by someone that I really care about--and who I thought cared about me, too.

I am so embarrassed that I went to Lover's Lane. Tee hee!

Once again, I dreamed about having another baby.

Once again, I did not finish my baby's baby book. And my baby is five.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is ummm...my bladder? It's not something you can see, but I get to see it super-sized every 3 months on the scope and it looks (and behaves) way different than it did last year!

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is the well of fear and strength that I found buried deep down inside of me (probably somewhere under my pancreas?). It's really kept me going through some hard times.

I loved spending time with my little girl.

Why did I spend even two minutes feeling guilty about that one thing?

I should have spent more time doing that one thing.

I regret buying the Timberland boots.

I will never regret buying those Speedo swimsuits and American Girl Doll (and accessories) even though with that money I could have bought well, nothing. Because I wouldn't buy anything else that costs that much. But I suppose I could have paid my student loans for a few months with that money.

I agonized way too much.

I didn't kiss enough.

My in-laws drove me crazy.

Was mom crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was Silver Beach in St. Joseph, Michigan.

I feel so dreamy and relaxed when I write that down.

Why did I go to my in-law's house?

The best thing I did for someone else was go one extra step and stumble outside of my comfort zone for that person's benefit.

The best thing I did for myself was learn how to confidently jump into the deep end of a pool.

The best thing someone did for me was patiently coax me into that first jump into the deep end.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is that night in May.

Lovely...

2010-12-18T14:39:00.000-06:00

Holiday Sister Pact

2010-12-13T19:38:00.003-06:00

I promise not to ever get upset--especially as our individual family units grow--if one of us needs or wants to have a separate family Christmas gathering with their own part of the clan. On my MacStewart honor. Even if it's on the same day as the rest of the big clan is gathering! Because I love you all, and I will hug you and squeeze you whenever I get to see you. What say you, sisters? Are you with me?

Because I'm a Control Freak

2010-12-12T20:02:00.004-06:00

Dear Mr. Anonymous Commenter (whose comments I deleted because they were kinda rude and if you're hiding behind behind "anonymous" that's kind of annoying) who I doubt will even be back reading this blog:

Yes, you are right. I am a control freak. Always have been, likely always will be.

That's pretty obvious given the fact that I bothered to delete and now respond to your comments. It's my effort to still work on being in control of stuff!

Just so you know, my husband and I have been together for 11 years and he reads this blog. When it comes to having a sense of humor, we're on the same wavelength. In fact, the flippant post about what I should get in return if he got a PS3 was his idea. The "Nine Words Women Use" was a copy of an e-mail one of my friends sent me that I thought was amusing, because unfortunately, it's all too true. My husband and I laughed long and hard when we read it. In case you're wondering, I'm guilty of using "fine." I say it when I'm trying to figure out how to succinctly put into words what's on my mind. My husband, by his own admission is guilty of using several of them, too.

After 11 years together, my husband and I recognize that a sense of humor is key to a healthy relationship. We have lots of real conversations, too, where humor isn't involved. We are grown ups, after all, capable of communication--open, honest and sometimes painful communication. And then other times, we just duke it out with a pillow fight.

Wanna know why I'm an even worse control freak now than in the past? Probably has something to do with being in the same boat as lots of people in this country. The hubs lost his job a year and a half ago due to education funding cuts. I was diagnosed with cancer a few days after he lost his job. Gotta tell you, the surgeries were pretty freaky. Anesthesia is a control freak's worst nightmare. And FYI: I have a chronically ill kiddo who has required years of specialized medical treatment and medication, literally just to keep her breathing. Trying to be in control of what little I can control helps in feeling a little safer. A little less out-of-control, if you will.

But you know what? Life is pretty damn good. We spend as much time as we can laughing about stuff--no point in crying over it, that's for sure. But the power and control stuff? Yeah, it's part of who I am. And it's worse these days, because a cancer diagnosis is a sharp reminder that I'm not even able to control my own body, let alone most of the circumstances in my life. Power and control is an illusion, but I don't mind pretending that I do have control, even when I'm fully aware that I don't.

So...I'm sorry you're divorced and you feel like you're so much better than me and raising your kids better than I'm raising mine. A sense of humor might make you a little less uptight about your circumstances. There's plenty to be happy about, if you just take a look around. Lighten up, dude.

And smile!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Power and Control Freak

Random Thoughts

2010-12-09T18:47:00.005-06:00

Christmas is just about two weeks away. Every time I turn around lately, I hear people talking about shopping, complaining about the crowds, grumping about something. I'm trying to figure out at what point the spirit of Christmas changed from actually meaning something, to being all about...I don't know what word to use. Commercialism?

Don't get me wrong. I like buying gifts for people and I enjoy the overall holiday spirit, but I guess for me, it means something more than just "stuff", at least in terms of "stuff" for me. Part of the spirit of the season, at least for me, has to do with little things and sharing more than usual. I'm pretty good at sharing in my daily life, but as much as possible, I increase that during the holiday season. I was grocery shopping this past weekend and the Salvation Army bell ringer was standing outside of the store, cheerfully greeting people, ringing the bell. I didn't have much in the way of grocery money in the first place, but that didn't stop me from stuffing two dollars into the bucket. The Christmas-gift budget is tight, but that doesn't stop our family from sponsoring a needy family from the Angel Tree. Having a tight budget just means there's more room for creativity! And besides, the hubs and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts for years--we much prefer the idea of taking the money we would have spent on each other and helping someone else have a brighter holiday.

I know the holiday season isn't easy for everyone. I'm fortunate to have a job that I've been at for over a decade, but I'm very aware that other people aren't so fortunate. Christmas means being able to spend time with my family, including my wonderful Sisters! But I know that not everyone has family to be with--not on Christmas, maybe not anytime. During the holiday season, I think about how very, very much I have to be thankful for. I know that others may not feel thankful--sometimes, for very legitimate reasons.

This time of year puts me in a "taking stock" mood, too. Screw ups over the past year? Too many. More than I can count. Successes in the past year? Plenty if I think about it, but the ones that stick out are related to my job, getting up the nerve to learn how to swim and hitting the one-year anniversary of being cancer-free. With screw ups and successes come all kinds of changes--some welcome, some unwelcome. And yet, at the end of the day and the end of the year, somehow, someway, it's all okay.

Maybe that's what it's all about. Just being okay. I think I'm okay with that.

Nine Words Women Use (Men, Pay Attention)

2010-12-02T18:33:00.003-06:00

One of my friends sent this to me...

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minute if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't. Do. It.

5. Loud Sigh: This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question. Do not faint. Just say, "You're welcome." I want to add in a clause here--this is true, unless she says, "Thanks a lot." That is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say, "You're welcome." That will bring on a "whatever."

8. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying f*%# you.

9. Don't Worry About It, I Got It: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in the man asking, "What's wrong?". For the woman's response, refer to #3.

Fantasy Christmas Wish List

2010-11-28T20:03:00.003-06:00

1. A Harley Davidson Ultra Classic Electra Glide

2. An Endless Pool (cow decoration optional)

3. Nine hours of sleep every night.

4. Soft hands.

5. My debt paid off.

It occurs to me that if I won the lottery--and not even a huge jackpot, but a small-ish jackpot--I would have all of the above.

Fantasy Christmas Wish List

2010-11-17T12:55:00.002-06:00

I think we've done this before, and it's kind of fun. What's on your (unrealistic) wish list?

Mine includes a one year "fast-track" pass to my local ER. I'll post more later...

Every Tuesday Morning...

2010-11-09T14:39:00.001-06:00

... I remind myself that it's only two more days until Thursday.

Your Suggestions?

2010-11-03T13:19:00.000-05:00

So...if a man thinks that part of the reason he deserves to buy a PS3 is because he's trying to help out around the house, what exactly does a woman deserve for actually doing the stuff he keeps saying he's going to do but doesn't?

Please keep in mind that another reason he thinks he deserves one is because I spent money on work clothes and also so he has something to do on nights when I'm crabby. I told him that those really aren't good selling points, nor does it warm me up to the idea of spending $350 (which is after coupons and discounts) on what is essentially a TOY.

If I relent and he gets a PS3, what should I get in return?

A spa day?
Mani/pedi?
A vacation day that I can actually use to rest and not be cleaning up after him?
A hot night of drunken, crazy, uninhibited sex with the 2nd man who asks me? It would have to be the 2nd, because he'd be the first to ask. LOL :)
Other ideas?

I'm taking this seriously...

Decisions, decisions

2010-10-14T09:04:00.004-05:00

Please help me decide. Vote either 1 or 2. It's just for a title of something I'm working on, but I can't make up my mind!

Misery Loves Music

2010-10-09T16:02:00.001-05:00

Dear Sisters,

I am miserable today. But I adore this song and well, there's a Twilight-theme that goes along with it, so I guess I'm one less degree of miserable now.

So Long to Summer...

2010-09-22T11:30:00.002-05:00

...and the summer of flowers.

Song Sung Blue

2010-09-07T20:05:00.004-05:00

Nothing like a little Neil Diamond over the craft store sound system to choke a mom up after leaving her tearful toddler at the first day of pre-school.

Unpaid Beauty Endorsement

2010-09-05T20:13:00.002-05:00

Do you ever stop and think about the price of beauty? I've been looking back at the seemingly ridiculous amount of money I've spent in the past decade, trying to look my best. I've spent way too much for way too little. If I could get back all that money, well, let's just say that I would be way less worried about my spouse not working.

Anyway, I was looking at my beauty arsenal and realized that I'm perfectly content with what I have in there.

Here's a list of what I swear by, from head to toe.

1. Clairol Nice n Easy Root Touch Up in Medium Golden Brown. Perfect for covering my increasingly noticeable gray roots.

2. Loreal Sulfate Free shampoo and conditioner. Love. It. I was a long-time user of Trader Joe's shampoo and conditioner, but my hair, though it was healthy, still had some frizz factor going on. I purchased the Loreal when it was on sale and was hooked. I prefer the Smoothing formula, but the others are fine, too.

Side note: I don't know if Loreal tests this product on animals. I hope not.

And FYI: Malibu Shampoo or Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo are a must after swimming. I had a lot of chlorine buildup (swimming 40-50 laps will do that, especially when I'm lazy about wearing a swim cap), and though I definitely prefer the Malibu, the Neutrogena works in a pinch, but it does contain sulfates.

3. Design Line Curl Lock Cream (for my wavy hair days) and Satin Cream (for my straight hair days). I don't like a lot of product in my hair, but if there's something special going on, these two are great.

4. Daniel Kern/acne.org--Love the face cleanser. It's gentle and effective and takes all my makup off in one wash. Perfect for my makeup brushes, too. Because I'm starting to show some wrinkles and dull skin, I also like Olay Regenerist Detoxifying Pore Scrub.

Daniel Kern also makes a fantastic benzoyl peroxide treatment gel and it's very nice to my skin. My rosacea medicine made me break out something fierce, and this product helps clear that up AND doesn't irritate my rosacea. Nice!

I used to use Alpha Hydrox Oil Free lotion for a little extra "oompf" if my face looked dull or if I had a breakout on my chest or back, but once again, Daniel Kern comes to the rescue with his AHA lotion. Less irritating and more moisturizing than Alpha Hydrox.

5. Signature Minerals. Best mineral makeup ever. EVER. I'll never go back to those other big-name brands. Nuh uh.

I love Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara and it's still good for daily use, but I am a partial convert to Dior Iconic Show Waterproof mascara. It lasts 50 laps in the pool, which is amazing, but after wearing it all day, my eyes sometimes get itchy.

6. Dove Sensitive Skin Soap. I used Cetaphil for a while, but it was too moisturizing and made me break out. A little Dove mixed with a tablespoon of Epsom salts makes for a nice, scrubby experience that results in soft, glowing skin, even on knees and elbows.

7. Trader Joe's "A Midsummer Night's Cream" Extra Moisturizing Lotion. Perfectly hydrating and no greasy residue.

That being said, Nivea makes an awesome anti-cellulite lotion with lotus flower extract that smells divine. At the risk of TMI, I use it on my hips, thighs, belly and butt. It made swimsuit season a little less frightening this year.

8. Dove Clinical Protection anti-perspirant. This is new for me. I had sworn by Secret Clinical Protection, but I didn't really like the scents and the unscented...well...if I was sweating badly, it did nothing for the stink factor. My two favorites from Dove are the original clean and yesterday, I bought the wild rose. Very nice.

9. Schick Quattro razors. Stupidly expensive, but a nice, clean shave.

10. Now, if nothing else on this list makes a bit of difference to you, pay attention to at least this one must-have item. The Ped Egg. I know, I know, some crazy TV product (but it's available in stores now), but I am hard on my feet and this product kicks a$$. I bought one last year in a moment of desperation, then ironically, received a second one from my sister-in-law for Christmas. I cannot say enough good things about it. My heels are as soft as they would be after a professional pedicure. Now, this does not replace a professional pedicure, but use it, then use some OPI to paint your nails and...poof! Pretty feet.

I wouldn't consider this a regular expense, but I do wear perfume on occasion and I adore Acqua di Gio and Code by Armani and Amazing Grace by Philosophy. Estee Lauder has some decent scents and my two favorites are Sensuous and Intuition.

Over the course of a year, the price of my beauty averages out to between $12 and $16 per month, depending on whether I'm using more or less of a certain product. It's still a lot of money, but nothing compared to what I used to spend when I was younger.

Funny how I bought so much junk in my teens and 20s, ironically enough, when I didn't really need the stuff. Of course, I suppose that money was the cost of experience, so that now that I'm in my 30s, I'm working on perfecting Marfa Version 3.2 (almost 3.3).

So True

2010-08-25T09:01:00.004-05:00

I read this post on Shine, and now seems like a good time for it. As fall starts to creep in, and wardrobe changes take place, keep this in mind. I especially like the "when you feel better, you do better."

Can Stylish Clothes Make You More Successful?
by HybridMom, 18 hours ago
4 Comments
Post a Comment
Read More from This Author »
Report Abuse

Do clothes make the man? Or in this case, the woman?
We can talk all day about how brains and work ethic are more important than looks and fashion. But humans are visual creatures by nature. Like it or not, we make instant assessments of people based on what they’re wearing.
It’s not just a chick thing. Male wardrobes may be less complicated, but they’re no less relevant.
My father, who spent 40 years in banking says, “The people with the good suits are always the ones who get promoted.”
The question is, do they get promoted because they look like leaders? Or does looking like a power player inspire you to act like one?
It’s both.
Have you ever watched a young man try on his first real suit? There’s a moment when he sees himself in the mirror, and he transforms before your very eyes. He stands taller, he squares his shoulders, and he juts his chin forward as he realizes that he looks strong and competent.
READ: 10 Easy Style Tricks To Look Ten Pounds Thinner
The same thing happens to women. I remember the first time I tried on a fancy black cocktail dress. As I gazed at the grown-up-looking girl in the glass, it suddenly dawned on me that I might be pretty.
When I was a college senior, my grandmother offered to buy me an interview suit. From the moment I slipped on the jacket, I felt smarter. As I stood in front of the mirror practicing my imaginary interview handshake, I thought, “Wow, that girl looks like she could actually get a job.”

It’s an odd paradox. When you’re wearing the right clothes, it becomes less about the clothes and more about you. The clothes give you a visual jolt that awakens you to your own possibilities.
I had a recent experience that reminded me just how much clothes can matter. I spent an afternoon with a few stylists from Ann Taylor, and I have to say, I was shocked by the positive impact it had on my self-confidence.
READ: Fall Beauty Trends To Try Now
As a professional speaker, I know that first impressions are important, so I’ve always paid some level of attention to my wardrobe. However, as my life got busier (and my body got lumpier), looking decent had become yet another item on my seemingly endless to-do list. Good suit, check; brush teeth, check; back-up batteries, check. I had forgotten that one of the people I was making an impression on was me.
When I put on one of their stylish, sleek suits and looked at myself in the dressing mirror, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t see an overworked woman who worries about her payroll, her business, her weight, and her kids. I saw a confident person who could walk into a room and own it.
It was that magic moment in the mirror when you quit worrying about how you look and start thinking about what you can do.
Ironic isn’t it?
READ: Professional Stylist Offers 7 Tips to Revive Your Wardrobe
Not surprisingly, I bought several suits that day. The next week, I went on the road and had three of the most successful professional engagements of my entire career.
Coincidence? Probably not.
The image you see in the mirror matters. It’s not shallow to care about how you look; it’s smart. Because when you look better, you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better.
Cool clothes aren’t a substitute for competence, kindness, curiosity, or compassion.
But sometimes it takes a killer suit to remind you just how fabulous you already are.

Back-to-School Blues

2010-08-23T10:06:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, I want my classroom back.

Thank You Flowers

2010-08-23T10:01:00.004-05:00

I brought some of these to church last Sunday as a thank-you for answered prayers.

Anniversary Flowers

2010-08-17T14:28:00.003-05:00

I meant to put this up two weeks ago.

Help

2010-08-07T20:20:00.003-05:00

I've been sitting and staring at a blinking cursor for 10 minutes. I looked up at the top of the screen and saw the little "Help" icon.

I think it's too bad I can't click on that button and get the answers to the questions I have...you know, the really important questions. Like:

Why do I isolate so much when I really need the love and support of the people in my life?

Does God take naps?

Why can't I ever seem to win a game of Clue?

Will I ever sleep through the night again?

Why do boys fart in their sleep so much?

Does laundry breed at night?

Will I ever feel normal again? Wait...I don't know if I've ever really been normal, so scratch the part about "again".

Why We Never Tried Drugs:

2010-08-02T13:53:00.004-05:00

Here it is, the video (or more likely the cartoons) that got into our heads and saved us from the wacky, crazy world of drugs and their neurological influence.

August

2010-08-01T19:10:00.001-05:00

Ummm...where did July go?

I Officially Earned My Mom Badge

2010-07-19T19:27:00.002-05:00

My baby girl is 5 years old, but until today, I don't think I was officially a "mom". How do I know I'm a mom now? I told my daughter when she was misbehaving during bath time that I was going to sell her to the gypsies. Boo yeah!

The Internet Teaches You Everything

2010-07-18T11:43:00.002-05:00

So you know the rockin' shoes I got for the wedding?

(The middle pair)

Well, they fit my foot perfectly, but they were so tight in the toe! Several people in the reviews/comments also noted that the toe was so tight that they were barely peep-toes because their toes didn't really have room to sneak out. One of these helpful commenters also taught me the greatest trick in the world! (Yes, I tried something written in a random review on Zappos. I'm convinced of the benevolence of the Internet, except WebMD, which wants you to know you are dying of whatever ailment you decided to look up there).

Anyway, the commenter said she/he used the "age old trick" of filling two ziplock bags with water, putting them in the shoes and then popping them in the freezer. Because water expands when it freezes! And will gently stretch the shoe!

OMGGENIUS! Worked like a charm. It stretched these shoes just a tiny bit in all the right places. Now my toes can peep, the little rough patches that were threatening to give me blisters are gone and all is well again. Hurray! Thank you, Internet!

A Letter to My Fear of Water

2010-07-15T21:11:00.002-05:00

Dear Fear of Water,

Please pucker up and prepare to kiss my ass.

Love,
Crazy Sister #2

I thought I would be embarrassed to admit that I'm taking swimming lessons--I've always felt like I'm the only adult in the world who doesn't know how to swim--but after a week of classes, I'm excited, giddy and proud. There are 10 adults in my class and I'm not even the "weakest" when it comes to swimming skills. I did a pretty basic swim today across half of the pool. I'm still working on my breathing. It's strange to me to breathe in through my mouth and out through my nose, but I'm getting the hang of it. The back float still freaks me out a little, but I did it today, completely unassisted. The best part was at the end of class when we learned "glides". I did so well that the instructor had to come get me because I started swimming too close to the deep end without realizing it. Oops.

And ya'll, if you want to take swimming lessons, too, do it! Just get goggles. They make a world of difference. Last class, I was trying to do everything with my eyes closed because I don't like opening them underwater. I got goggles and was much more comfortable today.

Yay!

Now It's Summer

2010-06-27T19:02:00.007-05:00

Favorite Colors

2010-06-17T20:13:00.004-05:00

But not those brown spots--the ivy has some sort of funk in certain areas.

Plus, meet the guest hanging out by the compost heap. Just so you know, that's not on zoom.

Look familiar?

2010-06-16T15:49:00.007-05:00

It would be nice, if there really were an instruction book for life sometimes. A go-to book that when you have a question or problem that you just can't quite seem to figure out all you have to do is open it to the magic page and BAM! there's your answer.
Of course, that's not quite how this book operates. BUT, if you remember a little email that our sister Margaret sent weeks ago entitled "Happiness Tips from 200 Years Ago," it was immediately what I thought of when I opened this book.
So, I sent this little present to each of you, along with your own individual card that made me think something about you, so, there you have it. And hey, even if you don't ever use any of the 1,500 tips in the book (of which I would greatly be surprised), who doesn't love receiving boxes from the UPS guy?

Love you!

Backyard Flowers

2010-06-09T21:23:00.003-05:00

Batman & Robin.

2010-06-09T08:35:00.004-05:00

THIS just made my day. Hopefully it will make you smile a little, too.

Comparisons

2010-06-06T17:49:00.002-05:00

This exchange took place after a very rough day last week:

M: "Sometimes I feel like an unwanted side dish."

R: "Vegetables."

M: "What are you talking about?"

R: "You said you feel like vegetables."

M: ?

R: "In this house, an unwanted side dish is called vegetables."

M: "Then, yes. I feel like vegetables."

Have you ever felt this way?

2010-06-02T18:31:00.003-05:00

Catherine's love story has me feeling all weepy and sentimental.

Peach Carnations

2010-06-01T19:10:00.002-05:00

I believe that this is going to be a summer of flowers.

2010-05-31T14:32:00.000-05:00

Promises, Promises

2010-05-13T18:25:00.002-05:00

In my next lifetime, or in this lifetime when I finally get around to taking over the world, I am going to have a policy about keeping promises. I do not understand why it's so hard for people to keep promises and I think it's time to institute some accountability on the part of the promise-giver, so that the promise-receiver (who has fallen victim yet again to the chronic promise-giver's failure to follow through) has some sort of ability to get restitution for the said broken promise.

Beauty Notes

2010-05-05T21:12:00.003-05:00

I have noticed that Victoria always seems to have the loveliest nail polish colors. She should post a picture of her beautiful turquoise toes.

What is making you feel pretty lately?

You Guys, TV Used to be SO SERIOUS

2010-04-18T19:38:00.002-05:00

I really don't think you understand. Remember the show Life Goes On? One of Mom's favorites, right? That show was about Down Symdrome and HIV.

What?

You heard me.

Now, I don't know about you guys (because I don't feel like doing math right now), but I was like eight years old when that show was on. I distinctly remember mom explaining AIDS to me, and to her credit, she got most of it right...?

And speaking of AIDS, what about Wesley's friend on Mr. Belvedere who had AIDS? There's also an episode of Mr. Belvedere about child molestation. (Not joking: remember Wesley's scout leader? That's okay, I didn't either, but a quick Google search will refresh your memory).

Totally changing gears, let's talk about Alf. I know what you're thinking: am I really going to suggest that there was anything remotely serious about Alf, the crazy puppet from outer space? Oh boy, am I! Remember when Alf finds out that his home planet was destroyed by nuclear weapons? That's right! Nukes! (Man, I miss the Cold War...)

Do you think Mom and Dad were aware of how seriously they were shaping our social consciousness with what we watched on television? From The Wonder Years to The Cosby Show to Family Matters (we also watched a lot of television that took place in Chicago), to The Torkelsons and Perfect Strangers, there were a lot of lessons that we learned, mostly about how to treat people decently and be open-minded to things that might at first appear strange or unknown.

Maybe the death of the American sitcom has hurt our society more than we realize. Although maybe, like the death of the "musical," somebody is eventually going to realize that people still actually want television to be about serious and relevant conflicts that can be resolved in forty-five (or even twenty-two!) minutes with a smile and parental hug.

Getting Creative

2010-04-17T19:09:00.003-05:00

I took these pictures this afternoon. The tulips in the front yard are fading fast, but I took a few close-up shots of the insides of the tulips. These are the original shots--no enhancements, no editing. I could not have planned better shots.

FEENY!

2010-04-16T12:55:00.003-05:00

My Fifteen Minutes

2010-04-14T13:09:00.002-05:00

I only have about 4 minutes left on my lunch break, but that's long enough to post something really quick. After reading Sister #1's post about taking 15 minutes to be creative, I did exactly that last night. And it was actually longer than 15 minutes!

I made candy-coated cookies after the kiddo went to bed so that she'd have a little surprise when she woke up this morning. I cheated and used store-bought cookies (in an effort to save time), then proceeded to melt and tint white chocolate for the little daisy and rose designs. Did that, then coated the sides in white chocolate. Very pretty as well as pretty tasty! I'd love to post a picture, but I don't have any. I will, however, be making more for the kiddo's birthday party!

Fifteen Minutes

2010-04-12T16:07:00.003-05:00

I picked up my copy of The Artist in the Office yesterday from the bottom of a pile of papers and opened it to a random page that I had flagged when I first read it. The topic was taking action, and the advice: Give yourself fifteen minutes to take action on your creative work. Right Now.

And so, I am.

We all should.

Margaret's Menagerie

2010-03-25T21:34:00.002-05:00

Currently in my basement:

hungry hippos
jumping monkeys
chicken limbo
flippin' frogs
butterscotch (life-sized pony, in case you haven't noticed)

And they are all free at once. I really wouldn't be surprised to find a naked leprechaun down there tomorrow--we seem to have everything else.

A Little Soapbox Rant

2010-03-24T21:41:00.003-05:00

I despise double standards, especially in relationships. It's unfair, not to mention disrespectful, when there is an expectation that the woman always do certain things or not do certain things, but in hot minute, the man can turn around and do or not do certain things and somehow, it's different.

I call bullshit.

The Ants are NOT Dead

2010-03-12T07:55:00.003-06:00

And you all need to know this. Because the ant farm should be gone by now!

And I don't want to figure out how to work an ant habitat into my design element.

A Memo to My Son

2010-02-28T19:42:00.004-06:00

One of the pitfalls of being a therapist is having overwhelming empathy, even in cases when it is unwarranted. My darling spouse asked me some time ago if I have any idea of what it's like to be married to me. I just laughed. Try being me. Seriously. If I had a son and he told me that he was in love and was going to marry a girl who reminds him of me, I'd have to give him some advice. Here goes...

I'd want him to know that having a kooky, OCD wife is not easy. And it's not easy for her to feel so kooky and OCD. It's hard to keep promises, but she'll notice when you do. She'll notice more when you don't and she may not praise you when you do. She expects you to keep promises, big and small. If you won't follow through on the little things, she won't trust you to follow through on the big things. She will do stupid, mean things to get your attention and be frustrated that you don't get where she's coming from. She wants you to be happy and will go out of her way for you to be able to do the things that make you happy. And then, she'll use it against you when she feels like she's being neglected, but all she really wants is for you to have the same consideration for her.

She will, at times, dig in her heels and absolutely refuse to meet you halfway. Meet her where she's at--and expect her to snap at you when you do. See, maybe she's not really always digging in her heels. Maybe she feels stuck. Maybe she feels trapped and she's hurting--much like an animal with its leg caught in iron jaws. Only, she's likely missed the fact that her leg isn't caught, it's just the hem of her pants that's caught, but she still can't figure out how to break away. She needs you to help her get out of that.

She's the strong one, but sometimes, you need to be stronger than she is. But don't play on her vulnerabilities. She naturally feels guilty about everything. Take some of that burden from her. Share the load of the relationship. Listen and talk. Understand that she's unreasonable sometimes--she knows she is. And she knows that you know she is. Be her companion when she starts the journey toward being more reasonable. It will be a long journey. And she'll be mad at you. A lot. Love her anyway.

Listen to her. Listen to her perspective on things. You don't necessarily have to agree, but you should do your best to understand.

Respond to her.

Respect her.

Be honest with her, even when it's hard or potentially hurtful. Especially if it's hard or potentially hurtful. It's better to hear it from you, because afterward, she knows that it's safe for her to be angry with you. After your honesty, she might be crushed. Help her pick up the pieces. If it's about her weight, her hair, her makeup, her attitude, her cooking, something dumb that she's doing--tell her! Tell her kindly. Offer to help her. Be prepared for her to be pissed off. Let her be pissed off, and you just get over it. If she needs time to correct something, help her get the time to correct it.

Don't just make a blanket statement criticizing and then not help her rectify it. If you think she's not spending enough time with you, look at your schedules and find compromises. Don't expect her to just give in without giving her something in return.

If you think she's coming across as a nagging mother, first consider whether you're behaving like a child. If you're really not, think about what her reasons are for her behaviors.

Be the man that you promised her you would be. Fight harder than her to make things better. If you've hurt her, expect her to be suspicious of you and your intentions for a long time. She can forgive you and hate you at the same time.

It's not a contest, but dare yourself to be the best husband and father you can be. Encourage her to be the best wife and mother she can be. Support her in her efforts. She is more insecure than you can even begin to understand.

Treat her the way you would want your daughter treated. Love her when she's unlovable. Give her the praise, respect and appreciation that you think you deserve from her. Don't gossip about your marriage. Handle her with care.

And when she feels like things are crashing down around her, be her refuge and safe harbor. She may not appreciate it in the moment, but she'll remember it later. And she won't forget it--and then she'll want to turn to you and trust you with her heart.

Remember that God gave you an opportunity to be the strength your woman needs. That woman is strong, more than strong enough to carry the weight of the world, but there are few things more beautiful than a woman who trusts her man enough to carry her sometimes.

TypeTees

2010-02-20T13:05:00.001-06:00

Another Language

2010-02-18T12:54:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had a dream in another language? I had a dream in Ukrainian the other night. I was in the church, the incense smell strong, the language filling my ears, my voice echoing all the proper responses. And then I was chasing someone down the steps of the church, desperate to catch him, shouting in a language that I don't speak. It was one of the most complicated dreams I've ever had. Have you ever heard of anything like this before?

Tangled Thoughts

2010-02-16T13:39:00.002-06:00

Some of the words jumped out of the speaker and landed straight into my head.

But it's easier to please the world
Than it is to please myself.

While I was out shopping over the weekend, I heard the song "What I Cannot Change" by LeAnn Rimes. It's not the type of music that I usually listen to, but it was on at the store. My thoughts locked on that one phrase from the song--on how it is easier to go with the flow, than to know what we really need and want. It takes examination to find our true priorities, but it is worth it. I promise. So, my dears, make sure you're not too busy pleasing the world that you forget to take care of yourself.